It’s just a regular Saturday night and you’re out with your girlfriends when you make the mistake of scrolling through your Facebook feed. There, in living color, is the boy who broke your heart… With someone new who looks just a little bit like you (only with a worse face, obviously). You immediately order another drink (or shots if she’s really something) and start spiraling. Here’s how to handle your ex moving on in a way that won’t leave you regretting the texts you send and the boys you kiss while you’re seeking revenge.
Let yourself spiral (but not in a serious way).
Before you start drinking yourself into oblivion, try some yoga breathing. When that doesn’t work order Jack Daniels because at least you can rely on him. Then stop because your ex is not worth puking over.
Remind yourself why you moved on.
Even if it doesn’t feel like it, at some point you were over this guy. Maybe it’s because you finally realized that things would never work out or maybe it was when he cheated on you and then proceeded to gain approximately fifty pounds. Even though all of the feelings come back in full force when you see him with someone new, you need to remember that he’s still the same lame guy, just with some new girl who doesn’t realize that yet.
Don’t feel like you’re losing the dating game.
There’s always an unofficial race post-break up to see who will move on first. It’s petty, but it’s also very real, and puts pressure on you that doesn’t help.
Don’t hook up with a rando to move on.
Your first response when you see that “In A Relationship” Facebook official notification will most likely to find a relationship of your own. Before you start making out with a stranger danger, realize that you’re so upset because you thought you had something. It’s not weird that you’re searching for some validation since he’s obviously found some, but when you find it with the wrong guy you’re going to regret it in the morning.
Remember that you were never, ever, ever getting back together.
If you’re seriously freaking out when your ex-boyfriend starts Instagramming perfectly filtered pictures of a new girl in his life, it’s probably because deep in the back of your mind you thought you had a chance. The more serious their relationship seems to be, via social media, anyway, the more you freak out about the possibility of being forever alone. But when you think about all of your ex’s faults, wouldn’t forever alone be better than forever with the wrong guy?
If your ex is going through a major relationship milestone, you’re going to stalk because it’s human nature. But sometimes stalking will drive you seriously insane. Whether he moved in with his girlfriend, they bought a puppy, or *gasp* are engaged, you probably will know everything about it. All that useless information is not only taking up valuable space in your brain (the rest is dedicated to old Spice Girls lyrics), but driving you slowly crazy.
Unfollow him on social media (or at the very least stop seeking him out).
It’s unhealthy if every week you’re forced to see another photo of the painfully happy couple you were once 1/2 of. If you don’t want to unfollow him completely, that’s understandable. After all, that would lead him to unfollow you, which would mean he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable when eventually move on.
Make an effort to ignore the happy couple.
Your former boo is obviously going to keep popping up on your page because you looked at his FB constantly when you were dating (and even after you broke up). Either hide his updates or make a concerted effort not to click through, otherwise you’re going to be Harriet the Spying on his new lady daily.
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