Reminder: Your Feelings Are Always Valid

It doesn’t matter if you’re crying over the crush you’ve never even gone out with, or if you’re upset over something silly your boyfriend did. No matter the reason is behind your tears, it’s valid. Here’s why you should never apologize or justify your feelings:

  1. Some men criticize your feelings to cope with their own. If your friend with benefits gets angry when you tell him that you want something more, don’t feel bad when he yells at you for developing feelings when he made it clear he only wanted sex. He’s just angry that he isn’t getting his way and is trying to cope with his guilt in the only way he knows how.
  2. Your period doesn’t make you any less of a person. Some men think that women get upset for “no reason” when they’re PMSing. Of course, even if you do overreact during that time of the month, there’s always a reason behind your anger, which means he still did something wrong and should still find a way to fix it.
  3. A good boyfriend will understand. He might not think that he was being flirty with the waitress, but if his actions upset you, he should still take responsibility for them. He should understand the way that you’re feeling, even if he doesn’t necessarily agree with it.
  4. Honesty is essential in a healthy relationship. It’s better to be honest with your boyfriend than to lie to him. If you bottle up your emotions and act like everything is okay when you’re dying inside, then you’re sabotaging your own relationship.
  5. You can’t feel bad about hurting him. It doesn’t matter if your tears make your boyfriend feel like a horrible partner. If he hurt you, then he deserves to know it even if it’s going to upset him, because it’s the only way he’ll be able to fix the problem.
  6. Everyone experiences pain. Never call yourself stupid for crying. Even if you feel like a baby for getting upset, you need to remember that everyone has been in a similar situation to you, so you’re not alone.
  7. There’s always a deeper reason behind your tears.If you get upset over something small, like the fact that your boyfriend forgot to send you a good morning text, there’s probably a deeper issue at hand. If you let yourself explore your feelings, then you’ll be able to figure out what that issue is in time to fix it.
  8. It’ll build trust with your boyfriend.If you never express your feelings to your boyfriend, then he won’t want to express his feelings to you. If you love him, then you shouldn’t be afraid to open up to him, because it’ll encourage him to do the same.
  9. Apologizing makes you look weak.If you were being honest about how you feel, then why would you degrade yourself by “taking it back”? You should never apologize for telling the truth.
  10. It’ll make your relationship stronger.If you’re with the right person, then he won’t mind being your shoulder to cry on. Blurting out your feelings will actually make him love you more, because it’ll prove that you trust him enough to open up to him.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.