Your Guy Friends Are Hurting Your Dating Game

There are a lot of perks to having guy friends. They usually come drama free because they say it like it is and don’t get wrapped up in trivial issues. They give great advice and won’t sugarcoat it like your girlfriends, they can ward off the creepy guys at the bar, and they’ll give you a background check on the friends they hook you up with. But at some point, hanging out with your guy friends will affect your current and future relationships and start messing with your dating game – and not always in a good way.

  1. Everyone thinks you’re already taken. Are you and your guy friend a little chummy? Do you show up together at parties, talk at the bar and go out to eat one-on-one? It’s easy for it to appear that you’re an item rather than a couple of friends hanging out. Forget about picking up when you’re out with your guy friend. No one even looks your way because they assume you’re taken.
  2. They’re overprotective of you in unnecessary ways. They’ll stop you from giving your number to the hot guy who they think will take advantage of you and pretend to be your boyfriend when an overly aggressive guy keeps coming back to talk to you. For all you know, one of these guys is perfectly good dating material, but no guy is good enough for you, according to your guy friends, and they’re not afraid to let you (and the other guys) know that.
  3. You become just ‘one of the guys’. You get used to being called ‘dude’ and ‘man’ on the regular. They burp and fart around you and refuse to filter themselves because as far as they’re concerned, you’re just one of the guys. Eventually, the inevitable will happen. You’ll be interested in one of their friends, and you’ll get introduced as one of the guys. You’ll be the ‘cool girl’, but nobody wants to date the cool girl who kicks back with the guys. Hello, friend zone.
  4. You start to question the intentions of guys you’re dating. When you hang out with your guy friends often, you get to hear dating stories from a guy’s perspective. You hear the sometimes disrespectful ways your friends are talking about the girls they’re seeing. You hear them talk about not caring or being serious, just wanting to get laid, or having three other girls on the side, and you start to wonder if the guy you’re into is saying the same things.
  5. They intimidate other guys when you’re out. The same way women often won’t approach a guy out with a group of girls, not many guys want to approach a girl surrounded by four dudes. It’s hard enough to work up the confidence to go talk to a girl, but it’s that much worse when she’s surrounded by other guys who may or may not be just her friends.
  6. Your friends’ friends are off limits. You’re basically like a sister to your guy friends, and when were brothers ever okay with their sister dating their friends? They don’t want to hear about your sex life with their friends, they don’t want to watch two of their friends engage in excessive PDA, and it’s likely going to be awkward when you break up and have to see each other again.
  7. You pick up unladylike habits. It’s no secret that while it may be okay for men to burp, fart and swear on the regular, it’s not always the most attractive thing in a woman. Your guy friends may not mind it, but it’s often not making the top 10 list of traits your next potential boyfriend is looking for – and it’s definitely not the kind of things he’s looking to bring home to his mother.
  8. You start thinking like a guy. Your guy friends are definitely going to make you tougher. They’ll tease you, challenge you and tell you to ‘man up’ when you’re upset. You may start to become motivated by sex, be less in touch with your emotional side and stop filtering your vulgar thoughts. Having this kind of mindset could push away men who want to feel needed, want to be the protector and want a partner with a softer feminine side.
  9. The guy you’re seeing gets jealous. Not all guys are confident enough to handle you having a guy best friend. While watching a movie and platonically cuddling with your guy friend may seem harmless when you’re single, it’s likely not appropriate when you’re dating someone else. And while talking to your guy best friend on the phone for three hours until two in the morning seems perfectly normal, it’s going to take a lot of explaining to make your new boyfriend be okay with it.
  10. Feelings start to develop (on either end). Let’s face it- while not impossible, it is rare for guys and girls to stay just friends. You could be warding off other guys because you’re focused on your best guy friend, who you see as more than a friend now. But the feelings aren’t always reciprocal, especially when you’re already in the friend zone. And if they’re the one to develop feelings for you, you can be sure they’re not going to make it easy for any other guy to swoop in. You can kiss all their friends goodbye as potential dates, and pretty much every other guy, too.
Suzanne is a twenty something living in Toronto, Canada. When she doesn't have her professional pants on from 9-5, she is getting lost in a good book, a yoga class, or a tall glass of wine.
She has a severe case of the travel bug, a serious love affair with food and will never say no to puppy-sitting.