Your Partner Doesn’t See You As An Equal If He Does These 12 Things

When you’re in a relationship, you want to be someone who’s on your level, not someone who thinks they’re above you. Are you and your partner on equal footing in the relationship? Not in their opinion, if these 12 things are happening! You’ve been warned.

  1. They throw a spanner at your good work. When you get a promotion or are recognized for your creative work, your partner doesn’t really show you much support. Instead, they might make you feel like it’s not such a great thing after all. For example, when you tell your partner that your book was accepted for publication, they ask you if you’re not going to be too overwhelmed with work now. Say what?
  2. They bloat their achievements. On the other hand, when your partner achieves a goal, they don’t shut up about it! It’s clear that they think their achievements mean more than yours.
  3. They do the same thing with your bad days. When you’re running late and end up stuck in traffic, your partner tells you to stay calm or they just don’t get why you’re losing your cool. Meanwhile, when they have half as bad a day as you did, they react even more than you! Unreal!
  4. They mansplain. When your partner has to explain things to you as though you’re a child who doesn’t understand stuff, even though they have no idea you know more than they do, that’s so insulting. It’s also a sign that they think of you as being lower down the relationship rung.
  5. They don’t ask you for advice. They don’t run things past you to get your feelings or thoughts on it. When they want to buy a new car or take on a new client, they don’t talk to you about it. They might just go ahead and make their own decisions, which in itself isn’t a big deal. However, it is a problem when they don’t share those experiences with you. You’re supposed to be a team.
  6. They don’t react to your feelings. When you cry in front of your partner or express joy after hearing good news, they remain blank or seem annoyed. It can make you feel really lonely in the relationship because you need support on both good and bad days!
  7. They expect you to compromise. Your schedules clash so you’re the one who decides to move things around so you can see your partner as this is the third time that this has happened in the last month. Are you the one who’s always compromising while they’re sitting pretty? It’s like they don’t value your time and other activities.
  8. They tell you how to change. A clear sign that your partner doesn’t see you as an equal is if they disrespect you by expecting you to change who you are. A partner who loves you won’t do that. It’s infuriating! Why do they think they’re the voice of authority when it comes to your body, choices, and life? They’re not!
  9. They make plans without asking you. When your partner invites you to dinner, he chooses the restaurant without even asking you if you want to go there. This is usually a subtle sign your partner doesn’t really see you as an equal, but it’s just a stepping stone to a much bigger problem. What are they going to decide for you in the next few weeks or months?
  10. He’s sexist. Another big sign your partner’s being unfair is if they make sexist comments such as, “I’ll drive you to your friend’s house because women shouldn’t drive at night” or they expect you to be the one to quit your job when you have children just because you’re the woman in the relationship. What BS!
  11. They talk over you. Not just a sign that your partner loves the sound of their own voice, but talking over you so you don’t get a chance to speak is a sign of disrespect. It’s clear that your partner doesn’t think you deserve to take the stage because their words matter more.
  12. They laugh at you. When you screw up a pie recipe, your partner mocks you about it. When you express how upset they made you, they laugh in your face. WTF? Although they might try to spin it as a “joke,” this kind of behavior is insulting. It’s clear that they’re putting you down because they don’t think you deserve to be uplifted. They have another thing coming!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.