When you’ve invested serious time, energy and love into a relationship, it makes sense you’d want to do whatever you can to save it — but you can’t always salvage something that’s already ruined. You know in your gut when it’s over, but if you’re unsure or just in denial, look for these signs that it’s time to say goodbye:
- The bad times outweigh the good. Yeah, there will always be good and bad in any relationship, but the good should make up most of it. Take a step back and look at it objectively. Are you still having fun with him or do most of your days together end in frustration and tears? Do you start off happy and end up sad? Can you even remember the last time he made you happy for more than a few minutes at once?
- You’re super critical of each other. Ah, remember the days when neither of you could do any wrong in the other’s eyes? Not so much anymore. You feel like every little thing you do, he’s giving you side-eye. On the other hand, all you seem to do anymore is nag, nag, nag, and you hate yourself for it. There’s no room for easy happiness together when you’re so irritated.
- Everything he does suddenly annoys you. You used to love all his silly qualities and little quirks. Now you want to smack him all the time. When what you once adored becomes what you hate the most, you’re in trouble. You can’t be with someone that you no longer accept for who he is. Also, if you think he’s always annoyed with you… no bueno. Feels crappy, right?
- You’ve lost respect for each other. This is a huge issue and it won’t go away unless you can somehow resolve it. Loss of respect is a big warning sign that your love is truly on the rocks. If you don’t have respect, honesty, and communication in a partnership – you’re sort of screwed, to be frank. Also, who wants to be with anyone who doesn’t respect them?
- You’re condescending towards each other. This goes along with lack of respect. The two of you used to gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes and hang on each other’s every word. Now he can barely be bothered to listen to you, and he complains that you talk to him like he’s an idiot. You’re impatient when you engage in dialogue. You interrupt each other. It’s a mess.
- You fight all the time. This should be a “duh”, but sometimes you don’t realize just how much you fight. It increases gradually and creeps up on you until bickering is simply the new way that you communicate. One day you realize that the loving way the two of you once spoke is totally gone. New day, new fight. It’s exhausting.
- You don’t feel like yourself anymore. If you’re in a relationship with someone but you can’t be yourself with him, it’s time to go. What’s the point? If the two of you are always worried about what you do or say to each other, how can you ever relax? A romance that’s on edge isn’t a romance at all. You need a guy who will accept you as you are, always.
- He makes you sad more than happy. Yes, once upon a time in those glowy first few months, you floated around on a blissful cloud. Once reality sets in, it gets a little more ordinary. That doesn’t mean that you should be unhappy! It’s just a different kind of happiness. If you’re completely miserable in your relationship, there’s no reason to be there.
- You’re stressed all the time. You’re thinking about what’s wrong in your love life constantly. You stay up nights just worrying and stressing and feeling angry and helpless. These are all huge problems. If you feel like you can’t talk to your significant other about all these issues and instead keep them bottled up inside, your health will literally deteriorate. Why are you hurting yourself over someone else’s BS?
- Relationship problems have taken over your life. Your relationship should be one facet of your very full and interesting life. You are a strong and independent individual and hopefully you’ve stayed that way as much as you can. In a healthy partnership, you can maintain your own separate life and live happily dividing your time between your man and everything else. When the stress of your unhappy love life starts to seep into the rest of your world, that’s a red flag. It affects everything.
- You don’t have sex anymore. Some people would argue that it’s simply a fact of being in a long-term relationship. Those people probably aren’t very happy! There are ways to keep the spice going, and there are couples who have been together forever who still have a great sex life. This is a necessary aspect of a good relationship. No sex = less connection = less communication = less chemistry = disaster.
- You don’t connect on an emotional level anymore. The lack of sex can play a huge role in this issue. Humans, especially women, wrap a lot of emotions up in sex. It’s an essential bonding ritual. When you aren’t having any, it hurts your connections on other levels. You two don’t see eye-to-eye now, period. You can try to fix it, but when it doesn’t happen, you have to walk away.
