If You’re Doing These 7 Things, You’re More Successful At Love Than You Think

If You’re Doing These 7 Things, You’re More Successful At Love Than You Think ©iStock/mammuth

If you’re dating but have yet to find love, it’s really easy to think that all your efforts are for nothing. You see other people around you coupling up and it seems so simple for them, and the self-pity sets in pretty quickly. But just because you don’t have a new boyfriend yet doesn’t mean you’re a total failure. If you’re doing these 7 things, you’re more successful at finding love than you think:

  1. Going on dates. Sounds super simple but it’s really the truth. If you’re going on dates, you’re doing something right. You’re trying to meet someone, you’re putting yourself in that mysterious “out there” place everyone talks about, you’re not sitting at home whining. You definitely have at least one single friend who hates it but never goes out, so be glad that you’re trying.
  2. Staying positive. You’re not going to find love or keep any of your friendships going strong if you throw 24/7 pity parties and lament your solo status. If you honestly love your life and make a real effort to stay upbeat, you’re more successful than you probably realize. Plus you have to live with yourself until you find a BF, so you really want to be happy.
  3. Going against your type. If you’ve even gone on one date with a guy that was the opposite of who you’re usually attracted to, you’re doing something right. You’ve probably heard that you end up with who you never expect, and if you’re dating against type, you’re doing your best to make that a reality for your own life, and that’s pretty awesome.
  4. Not taking anything personally. If you get ghosted, you laugh and shrug it off. If you go weeks without a decent date (or even any dates at all), you don’t think it matters. If you can keep perspective and not take anything personally, that’s exactly what you should be doing.
  5. Forgetting the comparison trap. So what if your BFF finally tried Tinder and found her dream guy when you’ve been swiping for months with nothing but awful dates? It doesn’t mean you’re a loser and she’s a winner. It just means it was her right time. Yours will happen, too, so don’t compare your single life to anyone else’s. It’s your journey and you’re doing totally fine.
  6. Learning from your exes. If you think that every guy you’ve broken up with (or who’s dumped you is a total loser, then you’re not breaking up the right way. If you learn from what went wrong and make sure you’re changing your actions and thoughts, that’s the only way to find new love.
  7. Staying calm. You may not think that your attitude has anything to do with when you meet the right guy, but honestly, coming from a super calm and chill place is the best thing you can do for your dating life. There’s nothing worse than getting pissed off that it’s taking you so long to find love — you’re just going to feel totally miserable and you’re not going to meet your person any faster. So you might as well throw your hands up, sit back and enjoy the ride.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.