You’re Amazing, So Why Aren’t More Guys Hitting On You?

You’re Amazing, So Why Aren’t More Guys Hitting On You? ©iStock/Freemixer

You’re going out to the bar every night, but you’re leaving alone or without any new contacts in your phone. You’re an attractive, intelligent, single woman, so what’s the deal?

  1. You come off unapproachable. Are you tucked away in a corner, or are you in the center with a clear path to approach? How is your body positioned — away from newcomers, or inviting to men outside of your group? Position yourself open to outsiders, put your phone away, and be in touch with the night.
  2. You’re wearing the wrong thing. You don’t necessarily have to put it all out there, but loosen up a bit. Wearing your baggiest sweater or covering up in a turtleneck makes you seem closed off. You may be conservative, but you don’t want to come off as uptight.
  3. You don’t smile. Your resting bitch face is going to be a problem. Happy people are attracted to other happy people. So act like you’re at McDonald’s, and, put a smile on.
  4. You’re out with other guys. Going out with men scares other men off. Single guys might think you’re taken or that you aren’t interested, so you prepared a bodyguard at your defense. Either way, they’re not looking for a fight just to get your number.
  5. Your friends are scary. It’s all about their attitude. Did another guy go over there? Was he rejected? Do your friends interject? If your friends are loud, overbearing, or intimidating, he’ll skip your table altogether. It’s great that your ladies are looking out for you — just make sure they know you’re ready for the next man to hit your heart. 
  6. You avoid eye contact. Your eyes meet across the bar. Do you look away awkwardly, or do you smile? Avoiding eye contact makes you seem uninterested, so hit his headlights dead on with a smirk and he’ll know he’s got a chance.
  7. You have bad body language. When you’re at the bar, how do you sit? It’s a strange question, but think about it. Are your arms crossed? Are you fit tightly between your friends? Guys need the room to swoop in and they need the comfort that you’re open to meeting someone new.
  8. You’re tense. It’s a night out at the bar, and it’s supposed to be fun — not your only chance to find true love. Loosen up a bit and relax. Stop putting pressure on every night out and you’ll be surprised with how many numbers (or guys) you bring home.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.