You’re Amazing, So Why Can’t You Find A Guy?

You know that you’re the total package, but that doesn’t mean that you have it easy when trying to land a boyfriend. Here are a few reasons why you might be having some difficulty in the love department.

  1. You’re intimidating. Generally speaking, when someone calls you intimidating, it’s not something you’d take as a compliment. It’s almost like someone saying that you’re scary. However, the truth is that when you seem to have it all together, guys are a little afraid that being in a relationship with you will be a great way to highlight all their weaknesses. They want to start off the relationship at an equal level with you. In a way, they might actually feel as if they don’t deserve you.
  2. You have a better career than they do. Even though things are (somewhat, kind of) on an upswing for women in our fight for equality, some men still get really weird if the lady in their life has a better job than they do. It’s unfair and totally sexist. The good news is that a guy who passes you up based on something like this isn’t a guy you’d want in your life long-term anyway. It’s almost like he did you a favor.
  3. Your approach might be a tad too intense. If you’ve been single for a long time, you might want to soften your approach when it comes to meeting new people. It’s common to get really excited about the prospect of new love, but overselling yourself may be a bit of a turn-off. On that first date, choose one or two of your many positive attributes and hobbies to share. He can slowly get to know everything else about you during the course of your relationship.
  4. Guys just immediately assume you’re looking for marriage. When your style, career, and general attitude on life are all in line, you fall under the category of “marriage material.” The guys you’re after likely aren’t at that stage yet in life (even though some of them really should be). Even though you shouldn’t be chatting about marriage during the first date, it may be a good thing to make it clear what you’re actually looking for in a relationship so that there’s no room for assumptions.
  5. You might be coming off as being a little conceited. It’s one thing to know you’re the total package; it’s another to broadcast it to the world. The right guy will figure it out on his own. Make sure that you’re not coming across as being self-absorbed or self-congratulatory on your dates. A little humility goes a long way.
  6. It might just be a streak of bad luck. Dita Von Teese is credited as saying, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” It’s true. Even if you’re literally the best girl your date will ever meet, it’s possible they’re just not feeling the attraction. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. What you need to do is keep up the faith, and believe that you’ll eventually find someone who digs your personality.
  7. You keep going after the same type of guy. Ever look back and realize that every guy you’ve ever dated looked the same and acted the same? Maybe it’s time to mix things up and go on a date with a guy you normally wouldn’t. You never know whether or not you have true chemistry with someone until you give it a chance. Dating outside of your typical preference will also make the concept of dating a lot more exciting.
  8. You’re searching in all the wrong places. When you approach someone at the club, there’s a good chance that they’re not looking for a long-lasting relationship. Same with Tinder. Even though these are both two popular ways to meet people, they’re also notorious avenues for getting ghosted after the first date. Try looking for people at places that interest you. Maybe if there’s a convention you need to attend for work or even a party of a good friend that you would have otherwise passed up. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and slip your number to a guy you’ve had a long chat with, even if it happened at a strange venue.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.