It really stings when a guy you’ve got serious feelings for just doesn’t feel the same. It takes a toll on your self-worth and you question if you’ll ever truly find happiness with someone who will love you the way you want to be loved. Every girl has been there, so you’re not alone. Sure, it sucks when a guy isn’t into you or loses interest suddenly, but it doesn’t mean you’re not still wonderful and amazing without him. Before you sink into a dating disappointment depression, remember these things first.
- A good quality love is really, REALLY hard to find. Some people are amazingly lucky when it comes to finding love, but it’s not the case for most of us. You know who you are and what you want out of life and love and because of that, you’re bound to face some disappointment along the way. You want a good quality and lasting kind of love, so don’t feel bad if it’s taking you a bit longer to find.
- How a guy feels isn’t a reflection on you. If a guy suddenly loses interest or won’t even give you the time of day, it’s easy to think it’s because you’re not good enough — but that logic is absurd and completely untrue. You’re still who you are, no matter who walks in or out of your life. In fact, with each new experience, you only grow stronger and better as a person, so trust the process and tell that ugly voice inside your head to shut the hell up because you’re still fabulous, no matter what a guy thinks or doesn’t think about you.
- Not everyone will recognize your inner beauty. Let’s face it — some people are just plain shallow when it comes to creating their own perfect version of love. Just because one guy doesn’t see how flawless you are both inside and out doesn’t mean that no one will ever look at you and think you’re the most stunning creature on earth. Don’t waste your time mining for rocks when you’re destined for a diamond in the rough.
- Focus on the possibilities rather than what you can’t have. Focusing on the guy who doesn’t want you is a complete waste of your time. You might lounge around in your bed, watching endless rom-coms and daydreaming about running back to you professing his undying love. Unfortunately, living in that fantasy, while temporarily comforting, won’t help you get. Instead of dwelling on what won’t happen, look at the bright side: Your love story is still waiting. The right guy is still out there and your journey with him hasn’t yet begun.
- Guys are just as particular as we are about what they want. You’re picky about the type of person you picture yourself with forever and guys operate the same way. Sometimes you’ll cross paths with guys who you’ll believe so strongly are your forever match, but it won’t work out and you’ll feel devastated. It’s going to hurt. You’re going to cry and it’s going to change you, but it’s okay. In fact, it’s a very good thing. Every setback in love is actually just bringing you one step closer to the person you’re meant to meet. Hang in there.
- Keep doing your own thing. There’s no better time to ramp up the focus on yourself than when you’re feeling heartbroken. You can absolutely spend the necessary time wallowing if you need to, but pick yourself up sooner than later. Negative emotions are often the best fuel and motivation to work on yourself. Working through the blows to your ego by doing something productive, like hitting up a new gym or finally testing out that vibrant new shade of pink in your hair, not only perks you up and helps you move on, it also takes time away from pining over a guy who isn’t worth it.
- You don’t want anyone who doesn’t want you back. You’re a better and stronger woman than to allow yourself to get caught up in misery or bitterness about someone who isn’t willing to love you the way you deserve to be loved. We’ve all been there and we’ve all survived — you will too. Give it some time.
- Keep your standards high. No, you’re not aiming too high and if a guy isn’t into you, it doesn’t mean he’s too good for you — it simply means you’re not meant for each other and that’s completely okay, even if it feels harsh at the time. You’re going to fail a ton before you actually find love. If you aren’t failing, you aren’t progressing and progression is a good thing. A guy’s disinterest in you is simply moving you further on your journey to finding love. Remember that.
- The chaos is part of the reward. Dating these days is a complete disaster for most people, so if you feel alone in your feelings of rejection, trust that you’re not the only one. You’re going to meet guys who won’t like you, who will string you along and won’t treat you in the way you deserve and guys who will make you feel like you’re not worth the effort, but you most definitely are. You’re not unworthy because a guy isn’t into you; he’s simply showing you that he’s not worth your energy. It’s not your job to convince him you’re amazing, it’s only your job to move on… better things are in store for you. Embrace the chaos and look ahead towards the reward, because it’s on its way. Trust the process.