Do you feel like you’re a walking billboard for all kinds of damaged, emotionally stagnated guys who never seem committed enough to loving you? Are you always meeting men who pay little attention to your happiness? If this sounds like you, understand that it doesn’t have to be this way. In order to change, however, you need to recognize and understand the reasons you keep attracting the wrong guys.
You’re miserable. It sucks to admit it, but this could be one of the reasons why you’re attracting guys that aren’t so invested in your happiness. Misery loves company and that’s true for relationships too. If you’re unhappy and lost, you’re likely going to find someone who’s exactly the same way. Since it’s difficult to give something you don’t have, a guy who’s frustrated with life has nothing to offer you other than anguish. If you keep attracting guys who can’t seem to be happy, do some self-reflection to assess whether you’re actually in the same boat.
You are irritatingly clingy. Being all clingy and wrapped around a guy might seem cute, but it can get pretty frustrating very fast. If you’re only interested in being doted on constantly without matching that energy, it can take a toll on a guy and make him resent having you around. Such resentment can quickly transform into his lack of attention to your happiness in the relationship. That being said, don’t confuse a basic need for affection, attention, and communication for clinginess. If he tries to make you feel that way, he’s a jerk.
You’re just settling. If you keep attracting the wrong kind of guys that never seem to make you happy, one of the reasons could be that you’re settling. You’re scared of being alone without a support system, so you jump into any available relationship without giving it a second thought. Prioritize your happiness in a relationship rather than just being in one at all, and you might be surprised at the change.
You have unrealistic expectations of a relationship. Sometimes the unhappiness you face in your relationship is caused by your unrealistic expectations. Having high standards is good, but it’s possible you have impossible ones for men and never seem satisfied no matter how hard they try. If you’re looking for a guy who’s going to love you unconditionally and tolerate all your flaws while you go on being selfish, you’re setting yourself up for more heartache.
You’re all about the physical. If your desire for a guy is fickle, there’s a possibility you will always yearn for more. If you’re with him because of his amazing skills in the bedroom (a rarity, admittedly), his money, or because he’s hot and you think he’s a catch, you might become blind to his real personality. Be with a guy who’s willing to invest his time and energy in your happiness. The wrong guy won’t be worthwhile just because he’s got some money.
You haven’t moved on from a past hurt. Have you thought about the possibility that your unhappiness could stem from a past ugly experience? Your boyfriend might have an A+ in romance but if you’re conditioned to unhappiness, there’s little hope of you being truly happy in such a relationship.
You just don’t trust men. If you keep attracting men who never seem to make you happy, one of the reasons could be that you have some reservations about guys in general. Be sure to examine your secret beliefs about men. Do you think all guys are dogs and unable to provide your deepest emotional needs? Can you trust a guy enough to let him be authentic and make moves to please you? If you resent men, it’s impossible to find one who can truly make you happy. You’ll constantly be one step from leaving the relationship at the slightest misdeed from your partner.
How to attract the right kinds of guys
Fall in love with yourself. Nobody is going to make you happy if you don’t have enough self-love. Your happiness is your responsibility and a big task to hand over to someone else. Rather than stay in a relationship pining for love, invest in yourself and accept your uniqueness. No one is going to love you as you love yourself.
Stop shrinking to keep a relationship. One way to be happy in a relationship is to attract men that allow you to be true to yourself. When you make yourself smaller to keep a relationship going, you end up breeding resentment which will lead to deep-rooted unhappiness. The next time you’re out in a crowd, be original and watch the right guy dazzled by your authenticity.
Be a happy person. If you’re an easy-going person, there’s a high chance you’re going to attract a guy who is fun to be with. Stop waiting for a guy to make you happy, be happy then watch him make you happier. Read books, travel, watch your favorite rom-com, and take a long drive. As long as it makes you happy, do it.
Take a break from the dating pool. A bit of introspection will help you figure out why you never seem to attract guys that make you happy. It could be due to PTSD, daddy issues, or low self-esteem. Whatever the reason, take a break from dating and find the answers to your questions. Maybe even consider seeking professional help to work through your issues before getting back out there.
Be willing to let go no matter how much it hurts. Learn to grow a thick skin and walk out of a toxic relationship that sucks all the happiness away from you. No matter how great the sex is or how hot your boyfriend is, if he’s not making intentional moves to make you happy, you should walk away. You deserve better. You deserve to be truly happy whether there’s a man in the picture or not.
Be more focused on true love, not playing mind games. One tip to attracting a guy who is going to make you happy is to pay attention to your true feelings and not bother about playing mind games. Being interested in distractions can rob you of happiness. Channel your energy to expressing your feelings and receiving love from your partner. You have to learn how to give happiness to your partner and how to receive it from them in return.