If You’re Only Looking For Sex, I’m Not Interested

I love sex as much as anyone, but not enough to accept ONLY that when I’m looking for a real relationship. I want a love that has the potential to grow with someone I can actually see a future with. If you’re not on the same page, I’m not the one for you. I want more than a hook-up — sex just isn’t enough.

  1. I’m not a toy. If you’re looking for something to play with, you need to look elsewhere. I have so much more to offer than just my body, and I’m looking for someone who wants the whole package and offers the same in return. I’m not a kid anymore and games don’t interest me. I want something real.
  2. My self-respect game is strong. There’s nothing wrong with casual sex if both parties agree to it, but it’s not enough for me and I’d be lying if I said otherwise. I respect myself enough not to settle for anything less than what I want just for the sake of not being on my own.
  3. I’m looking for a real connection. I want someone I can Netflix and Chill with, someone who’ll ask me about my day because they sincerely give a crap and someone who just gets me. It’s damn near impossible to get that with casual sex because the only thing that matters with that arrangement is whether or not we’ve both arrived at the big O. That’s great, but it’s far from everything.
  4. I’ve had enough casual sex in my life. Gone are the days where I can wake up in a strangers bed and go home satisfied. It was fun while it lasted, but I’ve had enough of it. There’s no real meaning in casual sex except a sexual release and I’m looking for something a little more long-term these days. If that’s not what you want, that’s fine, but then I’m not the girl for you.
  5. I know your game. And I can and have played it better than you. You can talk me up all you want, but I can smell your sex drive from a mile away and I’m far more interested in sincerity. Just a tip: if you’re looking for a quick hook-up, just ask for it. If a girl’s interested, she’ll let you know.
  6. Sex is just better with feelings. I’ve never climaxed with a casual sex encounter. Maybe that’s because of my need for emotional connection with sex or maybe it’s because I’m never comfortable enough to let it all go. Either way, the sex I have for now on will end will always have feelings attached.
  7. Your one track mind isn’t deep enough for me. I really don’t want to feign conversation with you for a few hours so that you can work yourself up to make a move. If all you have on the brain is tits and vagina, then it’s obvious any conversation with you is going to bore me to death.
  8. I want to be valued. I want the person inside me to care about and truly value who I am. I’m tired of being desirable when it comes to sex but not when it comes to dating and forming an actual relationship. It took me a long time, but I know my worth now and I’m not willing to compromise on that for some quick sexual encounter.
  9. I want to love and be loved. I’m not talking about puppy love, either — I’m talking about real, unconditional matching rings ’til death do us part kind of love. I want to look into your eyes while we have sex and know that you mean the world to me, and I mean the same to you. That doesn’t happen on the night we meet, sorry to break it to you.
  10. I’m more than a notch on a belt. I have no desire to be just another sexual conquest. I’m a strong, independent and interesting woman, and until you can see me for all that I am, you aren’t getting in my pants.
  11. I’m getting too old for the one-night stand game. I’m only in my late 20s, but in my mind, I feel too old for the “let’s go home together” after a night of sweaty dancing at the club game. The club is for me and my friends to let off steam and have a good time, so if you find me there, just know that I’m looking for much more than you’re probably ready to give me.
  12. I want to find my forever. At this point in my life, everyone around me is settling down and I want the same. It’s not because of the pressure of being the last single girl of my friends but because I want to find my person and casual sex just isn’t going to help me do that.
Angelica Bottaro is a freelance writer and aspiring novelist based out of Toronto. She is an avid reader and music lover and enjoys getting lost in the written word and meaningful melodies.