If You’re Not 100% Sure You Want Me, Please Tell Me So I Can Find Someone Who Is

I’m crazy about you and sometimes I’m sure you feel the same about me, but other times I’m not so sure. I want to build something real and long-lasting with you, but if you’re not on the same page, you need to tell me now so I can move on to someone who is.

  1. You either love me or you don’t. No if, ands, or buts. When you love someone, you just know, so if you’re unsure, then the truth is pretty clear — you don’t love me, at least not the way I love you. You might wish you felt as strongly and as certain about me as I do about you but if you don’t, it can’t be forced.
  2. I want a guy who’s all-in. I want your whole heart, not just a piece of it. If that’s all you can give me, then I’m sorry but it’s just not enough. I’m not signing up for a maybe relationship with a foggy future. You either commit to me fully or I’ll commit you to the single life myself.
  3. I don’t want to be the one you settle for. That’s only true if you want me too, though, because the last thing I want is to be with a guy who’s only settling for me. I know what it’s like to be certain, and that’s how I know that if you don’t, then our relationship will never work. I’m not asking too much of you; I’m just asking for the same certainty I’m already giving you.
  4. I can’t be confident in this relationship if you’re not confident about me. How could I? How am I supposed to give my heart to you and love you completely when I can sense that you don’t feel the same way about me? If you’re not sure then I can never be sure of you, us, or this entire relationship. I’ll never feel secure and I’ll always be worried. I have enough anxiety in my life and I don’t need a relationship that adds to it.
  5. I don’t want you to grow to resent me. If you stick around when I’m not the girl you really want, then you’ll just grow to hate me for the fact that you stayed. I’m not going to force you into a life with me if that’s not what you really want. It’s your choice if you want to leave, but if you stay, then you have to be sure about me.
  6. If you’re looking for something more, I should be able to do the same. If you want more than me, isn’t it fair for me to want more than you? I want more than a man who isn’t sure about me; I want safety and security in the arms of someone who loves me completely and vice versa. If that man isn’t you, just tell me so I can find him.
  7. I want to be with a guy who isn’t afraid of commitment. Honestly, I can’t figure out what you’re so afraid of. Getting hurt? You’re hurting both of us by putting off the relationship. At the end of the day, if you were sure you wanted me, you wouldn’t be afraid to be with me. It’s as simple as that.
  8. I’d rather you break my heart sooner than later. If we’re doomed either way, then this is what I want. The sooner you break my heart, the sooner I can start getting over it. Even better, the sooner I can move on to a man who really does want me. If you’re going to break my heart, please just do it now. That’s all I ask.
  9. I don’t want to waste any more time. I’ve wasted enough already, so if this is eventually going to end then I want to be free right now. All we’re doing is standing still, but I want to move forward. If my future doesn’t have you in it, you need to be officially a part of my past because I don’t have any more time to kill on a guy who doesn’t really love me.
  10. If you’re not Mr. Right then you’re obviously Mr. Wrong. Those are the only two options. If you don’t feel certain about me then there’s a reason for that. I want to be with you, but if your gut is telling you that I’m not the girl, you should listen to it. When it’s not right, it’s wrong — and I’m tired of being wrong.
  11. I deserve certainty. I deserve a guy who doesn’t constantly question how he feels about me. I want a guy who wakes up every morning knowing that he’s head over heels in love with me. I deserve someone who doesn’t wonder if I’m a mistake. If you’re not sure you want me in your life, then I’m 100% sure that I should walk away.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.