While some relationship demands are completely inappropriate, there are a few things it’s fine to expect your dude to do if you’re in a committed relationship. After all, if a guy tells you that you’re asking for too much by asking for these 10 things, he’s totally not worth it.
- To give you his undivided attention One of the most annoying habits that we’ve developed as humans is a heightened sense of multitasking. It makes us all much less present when we’re with the people we care about because smartphones, watches, and other devices make it so easy for us to do a ton of things at once. I think it’s totally reasonable to ask your guy to leave his phone in the car when you go on a date or to log out of his work email by a certain time at night so you can have some alone time. If he gives you a hard time about that, I suggest you cut him off.
- To meet his friends If you’ve been dating a dude for a while and you haven’t met his friends yet, I’d look hard at the red flags. First of all, you need to meet his friends to make sure he even has them and to be certain he isn’t some super anti-social creep. Second of all, meeting his friends will help you figure out if he’s really for you. In my experience, a person’s inner circle reveals a lot about who they are. If he doesn’t want to let you meet his friends, either he doesn’t have any or there is something problematic about the people he calls friends.
- To text you when he gets where he’s going At the beginning of a relationship, many of us worry about whether or not we’re coming on too strong and asking for too much too soon. Some of us feel like wanting the other person to check in falls under that category. Here’s the thing, though—asking a guy to text you when he arrives at wherever he says he’s going to be isn’t too much. It’s thoughtful, considerate and a way to convey that you’re thinking about his well-being. If he can’t send a quick text to say he’s safe, he’s a douche.
- To stop talking to his ex If you’re seeing a guy and you find out that he’s regularly communicating with his ex, you should GTFO. Moreover, if you ask him to stop but he won’t, you should DEFINITELY GTFO. Call me harsh, but unless his ex is dying from a terminal illness or they’re sharing custody of children, there’s absolutely zero reason why he still communicates regularly with an ex. They’re exes for a reason. If he can’t let her go then he can’t be fully committed to you. You’ll always feel like you’re competing and it’s just unfair.
- To get tested for STIs before you stop using condoms For some reason, guys think that informing you that they got tested within the last few months or that they’ve only had sex with one girl in the last year is sufficient enough to have unprotected sex. Uh, no. I don’t know about you, but I expect every guy that I start dating to get tested before we stop using condoms and to show me the proof that he’s STI-free. If a guy thinks that this is too much to do he’s either hiding something or inconsiderate AF.
- To pick you up food when he goes to get himself something If you’re dating a guy and he says that he’s going to pick up some food for himself before he comes over to your place, I think it’s 100% reasonable to ask him to grab you something too if you’re hungry. If he’s unwilling to do that then he’s totally selfish and not worth it.
- To borrow his car I realize that some guys really protective over their vehicles, but if they’re so protective that they won’t let anyone borrow it, especially when they’re in need, then they’re just not worth it. A car is a materialistic possession. Making a big stink if you need to borrow it shows that he cares more about things than you, which, in my opinion, is a huge red flag.
- To go down on you If you like oral sex and you ask him to go down on you and he says no, it’s time to hit the bricks. In my personal experience, way too many guys expect women to perform oral sex on them but aren’t willing to provide the same kind of pleasure. More important, though, is the idea that you should be able to ask your partner for what will satisfy you without fear of being called unreasonable. It isn’t too much or unreasonable, it’s fundamental to a healthy relationship.
- To stop sleeping with other people This one is for all my ladies who are in between dating and a full-blown relationship. You’re not quite boyfriend and girlfriend but you’re more or less exclusive, for all intents and purposes. Regardless of where you fall in this grey area, it’s totally reasonable for you to ask the guy you’re dating to give you exclusive access to his penis if that’s what you want. If he gets all bent out of shape at the request, he might be sleeping with or dating other women while he’s dating you. Stay woke and don’t let him do that to you if you’re looking for something serious.
- To give you time to figure out what you want Alternatively, if you don’t know what you want from a guy you’re dating and you need more time to figure it out, he should respect that. In my experience, I’ve been with guys who wanted me to rush into an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship before I was ready to commit to one person. Sometimes you need to determine if someone is properly aligned with what you want and it’s perfectly reasonable to take your time. If he balks at the idea that you are a fierce, independent thinking woman then he might not be the one after all.