You’re Not Crazy If You Want These 10 Things

You’re Not Crazy If You Want These 10 Things ¬©iStock/Kichigin

The tide has shifted in modern dating, and now the general feeling seems to be that if you’re female and you actually want love, you’re kind of insane. It never used to be considered weird if you wanted to be coupled up, so let’s change that. You’re not crazy if you want these 10 things — no, really, you’re not:

  1. An actual relationship. You know. Two people who care about each other and are a part of each other’s lives. A relationship. When did this become such a crazy idea? Instead, you find yourself in almost relationship after almost relationship, wondering how to delete the “almost” part.
  2. A walk down the aisle. It’s OK if you want to get married. Thanks to weird marriage rants on first dates and the generally weird idea that you’ll be “trapping” a guy if you commit to him,
  3. A non-creepy first date. Hallelujah, right? You almost want to give someone a medal when they can talk to you like a human being when you’re grabbing drinks on a Friday night. So rare. Instead you get to hear about his political views and how much he hates his job and on and on.
  4. A vacation from texting. While ghosting is probably not going anywhere soon, texting seems to be the new/old dating problem. It would be so nice if you could just date a guy and not have to stress about texting and feel like if your iPhone is silent, it means absolutely nothing.
  5. Honesty. Since when did honestly become uncool? If you think someone should be able to tell you how they feel about you after a handful of dates, you’re actually totally normal and not nuts at all.
  6. Some form of romance. It doesn’t have to be over-the-top but it wouldn’t kill people to put in some effort these days. You spend enough time in your apartment watching Netflix – that’s not why you want to date.
  7. To take things slow. If you’ve been single for a long time, you know that although it’s super tempting to rush into a new relationship, you want to take things a bit slower. You don’t want to get hurt yet again and want to make sure this is a good thing for you. If anyone tells you otherwise, they’re not the right person.
  8. To take things fast. At a certain point, you have to move on from dating someone to being in a relationship with them. It’s fine to want this.
  9. To mean something to someone. Of course you love your life and you’ve moved on from feeling sorry about the fact that you’re still single. But you’re allowed to want this. Even your most confident solo friends want this, too, even if they pretend not to.
  10. A future. Planning for and thinking about the future seems to get a bad rep. You’re supposed to be all chill and cool and never want anything. But it’s OK to want to build a life with someone. That’s what people have been doing since, well, forever, and it turned out pretty well for them.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.