Hate To Break It To You, But You’re Not His Girlfriend — You’re Just His Girl Friend

You guys are as thick as thieves. You spend all your time together, text nonstop when you’re apart and are partners in crime. No, you’re not dating… or are you? Your relationship feels like it’s definitely more than friendship but you haven’t actually taken things to the next level. While it’s tempting to think you’re his girlfriend, you’re not — you’re just his girl friend. Here’s proof:

Your one on one time isn’t romantic. What’s the sexiest thing you two have done? Folding laundry, picking out socks, maybe cleaning his apartment? Yeahhhh, you’re just a friend. Where are all the romantic hangout sessions, you ask? Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but he’s saving those for a girl he actually wants to date. A girl friend gets takeout and Game of Thrones, a girlfriend gets an expensive dinner by candlelight — see the difference? Both events can be fun, but which one is more likely to end in sex?

You’re always introduced as or referred to as a friend. If he’s calling you “buddy,” you’ve been friend-zoned! Does he go out of his way to distinguish you as just a pal to his friends, family, and other girls? Eeek! Red Flag. You can tell how a guy feels by listening to the way he introduces you. If his feelings are real, you’ll be his “girlfriend,” “fiance,” or “wife.” If he calls you his “friend,” it’s literally because that’s exactly what you are! In my experience, guys say what they mean and mean what they say — don’t waste your time reading between the lines when there’s nothing to see.

He tells you about his love life. Not only does he tell you about his love life, he wants your advice. When a guy mentions another girl, don’t automatically jump to the conclusion that he’s trying to make you jealous (I’ve made this mistake before). If he’s asking for restaurant suggestions, cheap date ideas, or whether or not he should bring flowers, he’s not trying to make you jealous, he genuinely needs your help. He’s asking for your advice the same way you’d ask your BFF if a particular dress made you look fat.

You go dutch on everything. When you go out to dinner, your check is always split right down the middle. He’s paid the bill before, but it was only because you bought his coffee every day that week. Going dutch is the usual for you two, and there’s nothing more friendly than splitting the bill. Not paying for you is his way of letting you know (as clearly as he can) that he’s not interested in anything more than friendship. Also, he has to save his coins for the actual dates he has lined up.

Your flirting has no effect on him. You can bat your lashes all you want — it does nothing for him! In fact, he’s more likely to think your allergies are acting up than realize you’re flirting. He doesn’t see you in a romantic way, so he’s blind to all of your antics. Calling him by adorable pet names and casually resting your hand on his thigh isn’t going to work — you might as well be trying to seduce a gay man! Don’t waste your time on this guy because he’s not buying what you’re selling — it’s time to find a more willing customer.

His nicknames for you aren’t cute. He doesn’t call you “babe” or “honey” (unless he’s mocking you for some reason). He probably turns your name into a guy’s name — like “Kylee” becomes “Kyle” or something stupid. He may even drop your first name altogether and just use your last. Sound familiar? The point is, nothing about the way he addresses you is romantic. He probably calls you “dude” most of the time, right? It’s because he’s doing his best to let you know he’s not interested in you in that way.

He invites you to do “guy stuff.” Does he invite you to things he would never invite his girlfriend to? I know that might sound like a good thing, and it is (sorta), but it doesn’t mean what you think. He isn’t asking you to hang out because your more special to him than any girl. He considers you as one of the guys, and your friendship is no different than the one he has with his frat bro. You’re the girl he invites to grab a beer or go to a baseball game even though he knows you hate baseball. Not a good thing, at least for romance.

When you go out, it’s usually in a group. His friends, your friends, maybe even mutual friends — you guys are rarely alone together for long. A lot of couples hang out in groups and there’s nothing wrong with that! But if a guy likes you — really likes you — he’ll want to spend time with just you. He may go Top Golf with a group of your friends, but afterwards he’ll want some one on one time. If a majority of the time you two spend together is with other people — take that as a sign.

He comments on how other girls look. Now, it’s not a big deal if he’s mentioned his attraction to Beyoncé — I mean, obviously — but if he comments on random girls walking down the street, that’s a problem! He doesn’t have a filter around you and it’s because he doesn’t think he needs one. He doesn’t think twice before mentioning how hot the girl at his gym is or “the rack” on that waitress at Buffalo Wild Wings. The kid either has no idea that you like him, or he’s trying to make it clear that he’s not interested — either way, you’ve been friend-zoned.

He doesn’t touch you. He might give you a hug or a nice pat on the back, but he doesn’t make a real move. You may think he’s just taking his time; he wants to make sure his feelings are real before he crosses that line, right? Wrong. If a guy likes you, he’ll make a move — and that move will usually happen sooner than later. If you two have hung out alone at his place on more than one occasion and he hasn’t made a move, he’s not into you like that, plain and simple. He’s not shy or “taking things slow” — he’s just uninterested in anything but friendship.

He sets you up with other guys. He’s tried to hook you up with other people on multiple occasion. He’s either begging his friend to ask you out or he’s making plans for you and his co-worker — he wants you to be in a relationship, just not with him. I mean, could he be any more obvious? If you’re hanging out with a guy who’s constantly trying to get you laid, go ahead and take that as a sign that he’s not interested (or he’s a pimp).

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