If You’re Not Looking For A Relationship, I’m Not The One For You

When I meet someone I’m interested in, I make my intentions clear from the very start. I’m looking for a relationship, plain and simple. There’s no point putting all of my effort in someone who isn’t going to stick around, so I expect guys to be upfront and honest about their feelings. Unfortunately, though, some guys like to give mixed signals and lead me on, and I’ve had enough of it.

  1. I know what I want, so why are you hesitating? If you’re unsure about how you feel, it probably means that you don’t want things to move forward. In other words, you’re not interested in a relationship. That’s cool, but instead of giving me mixed signals, tell me that you’re not interested so I can move on to someone else. Don’t waste any more of my time!
  2. There’s no way I’m ending up in another almost relationship. Ah, the dreaded almost relationship that no one wants to be stuck in. I’ve had a few of these and it only leads to false hope and disappointment. I’m not going through it again just because you’re too afraid of taking a chance and making your feelings clear. Let me know or I’ll simply find someone who can.
  3. It’s not my fault if you’re scared of commitment. I get it — the idea of commitment can be daunting, but why should I wait around for you to change your mind? What if you never overcome your fear? I’ll just be holding on to the hope that maybe, just maybe something could happen in the future. No thanks. Make your mind up — it’s now or never!
  4. If you can’t be open about your feelings, is this really going anywhere? The answer is no. I’m looking for someone who can be completely open with me, and if you can’t at least let me know where I stand, then you’re really not ready for a relationship — at least not with me, anyway. In that case, we both want different things and that can only end one way.
  5. It’s really simple, so why are you making it needlessly complicated? Ultimately, I need to know if you’re worth it or not. I want someone who likes me enough to make a commitment and I certainly won’t settle for someone who won’t at least give me that. It’s really obvious when your heart isn’t in it because if you wanted me, you would pursue this relationship.
  6. You either want me or you don’t. If you don’t really like me, don’t pretend you do. Your words mean nothing if you’re not willing to prove it. I’m not expecting flowers and some big announcement about how you want to be with me — I just need a little bit of honesty. When it’s right, you know it’s right. If you don’t, then it’s clearly not.
  7. I’m not interested in something casual. If something as simple as a label scares you away, then keep on running. We already do things that other couples do, but as soon as I drop the word “relationship,” it’s like an alarm goes off. Yes, things are about to get serious and if you’re not ready for that, I’m really not the one for you.
  8. I’m not interested in a hookup. Look, I really have nothing against people who are just looking for a hookup. I’ve used Tinder and I soon realized that it just wasn’t for me — and that’s cool. We’re not all looking for the same things. I want to get to know someone on a deeper level and connect with them emotionally. I want a real relationship, so if you’re only hoping for a casual hookup, you really need to start looking elsewhere.
  9. It’s cruel to give me false hope. I don’t appreciate having my time wasted. You gave me the impression that you wanted something more out of this, and then you took it away without hesitation. Then you pulled me back in again. I’m so tired of being stuck in this loop, just because you can’t make your mind up about how you feel about me. I don’t want half-hearted love, I want the real thing.
  10. I’m not going to change my mind. There’s a very slim chance of me changing my mind. I’m just not into having something casual. What’s the point if it’s not going to last? Without a label, it’s so easy to pretend like it never actually happened. It seems like more and more people are eager to be in casual relationships, but I’m not going to do what everyone is doing. I won’t settle for another almost relationship or anything in-between —not when I know what it is I’m looking for.
Coralle is a freelance writer and blogger with a special interest in Mental Health & wellness, Women's health, and relationships.

Find her at justcoralle.com