You’re Single Because You Need To Be Right Now — It’s That Simple

Sometimes life doesn’t turn out in the way you hoped or expected and it’s not until much later that you realize what you thought was horrible was actually the best thing that possibly could have happened. That can totally apply to being single. You may not love being without a boyfriend, but the truth is this might be the stage you need to be in. You’re single because you need to be right now. It really is that simple — here’s why:

  1. You’re still finding yourself. Of course you can still figure things out and learn and grow with a boyfriend by your side, and tons of people do that. You’re never totally formed and you always can improve. But it’s so much easier to find yourself when you’re single. You can time to think and space to breathe as you move at your own pace.
  2. You’re fed up. If you’re tired of dating and are starting to feel like it’s just too hard, then it’s a really good thing that you’re still single. This is totally the wrong attitude to have, even though you’re entitled to your options and feelings (and they’re totally understandable, given the state of modern dating). Until you can turn your bad mood around and start to see finding love as a real possibility again, it’s good to be on your own.
  3. You’re figuring out how to date. It’s not like everyone leaves the womb and magically knows how to date. There are so many awkward and confusing things that can happen when you’re single and dating. You think this guy is really into you… and then you never hear from him again. You think you’re being fun and open-minded… and realize that you didn’t laugh once on your most recent first date. If you’re still figuring out this whole dating thing, then it’s good to stay single and keep trying. You’re going to get there, just not right now.
  4. You’re living life. Sometimes it’s okay to be on your own and be totally okay with it. You’re living your life and things are going pretty well. You’ve got all the pieces of the puzzle totally lined up… except for the whole boyfriend part. But that’s not what you need right now, no matter how much you want to fall in love again. You need to focus on the things that make you happy and on achieving what you want to. When love does happen, you’re going to be so ready for it.
  5. You take things too seriously. It’s pretty easy to get so caught up in dating that you forget to have fun in the meantime. You can’t get upset when dates get canceled or when you go on a truly dull first date that leads you never wanting to try ever again. You have to pick yourself up and not take things or yourself too seriously. Until you can chill out a bit, it’s good that you’re still single.
  6. You’re not sure what you want. One day you’re cool when a guy wants to be super casual, and the next, you’re dreaming of an actual relationship. If you’re not sure what you want, then how can you possibly be anything other than on your own? You need some time to figure this stuff out so you don’t waste your time.
  7. You’re having fun. If you’re having the time of your life, why change anything? You don’t have to fall in love tomorrow… or even next month. You can ignore the confused looks and supposedly helpful advice from your friends and family and just do what you want.
  8. You want a real relationship. It would be awesome if every single guy wanted a relationship as much as you do, but of course that’s just not the case. When you’re dating with this goal in mind, that means that you need to be single right now because until you can find the real deal, you’re going to be just fine keeping yourself company.
  9. You complain about modern dating. It’s just a fact that ghosting and bad dates and hook-ups and almost relationships happen. Literally just a fact. If you can’t stop whining about it, you not only need a total attitude adjustment but it’s probably a good thing that you’re single. You have to look on the bright side because not all guys are total jerks, and until you can think that way, you need to be by yourself.
  10. You resent happy couples. When you hate all the happily-in-love people that you know, you’re just asking to never find love, so you might as well stay alone right now. You shouldn’t let your jealousy and desperation get the best of you. You will totally find love, it’s just not going to happen today.
  11. You want to be. Sometimes what you want and what you need totally matches up, and when that happens, it’s pretty magical and amazing. If you want to be single, then that’s for a good reason, and that’s probably exactly what you need to do right now. It can be totally necessary to take a step back from trying so hard to find love and just let whatever needs to happen happen. Who knows? They always say that love comes your way when you’re not searching for it. That could happen to you.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.