When you’re a strong, independent woman and you fall in love, it can be a bit tricky, because romance has been rigged in favor of guys doing things for the girls in their lives. You may think you’re weak or girly if you’re suddenly allowing someone else to take care of you, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. You’re still just as much of a badass if you let him do any of these things for you:
- Buy you flowers or chocolate. Getting flowers seems so boring and cliche, but I wouldn’t turn them down if they were offered to me. Lots of women think that since they can buy themselves flowers or chocolate any way, they’re pointless gifts, but really, your guy is just trying to be sweet and flowers are a pretty adorable old-fashioned gift. Just enjoy it.
- Pay on the first date (and beyond). Whether guys should or shouldn’t pay on the first date is a super huge topic. Of course you’re a career woman and have your own bank account, but it’s okay if he wants to pay the first time you meet for drinks and even a few times after that… as long as you pay for some dates, too. It’s only fair. A word to the wise: if he starts ranting about how society is forcing him to pay for you (true story), then he’s not even second date material.
- Be super chivalrous. If your guy opens doors for you or pulls out your chair, he doesn’t think you can’t do it yourself. He knows you can — he’s into you, so of course he respects how awesome you are. Instead of thinking you’re not being a feminist, be glad that chivalry isn’t actually dead.
- Take care of you when you’re sick. When we’re curled up in bed with an epic cold that makes our entire face red for days and breathing is a foreign concept, we wish there was someone with us. Then when we do have a boyfriend who wants to take care of us, we back away, claiming we can take care of ourselves. Accept the chicken soup and the boxes of tissues – you would do the same for him, right?
- Have an opinion on your life. When you’re super strong and enter into a relationship, it’s difficult to accept that your BF might want to give his opinion every once in a while. You’re so used to making your own decisions, but maybe he’s got a good point sometimes. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with him – but part of any healthy relationship is listening to what he has to say.
- Plan a date or a trip. Letting him choose the restaurant for your Friday night dinner or book all the plane and hotel reservations for your January vacation doesn’t mean you’re not capable of doing that stuff yourself. It’s actually a relief that he can help out with this kind of stuff and it’s not all resting on your shoulders. You have enough on your plate, don’t you? So stop worrying about your feminism and learn to let go a bit.
- Drive you home. There isn’t a single woman who isn’t aware of the fact that travelling alone at night can be sketchy at best and dangerous at worst. Yet when a guy offers to drive us home or at least see us into a cab, we flinch and feel it’s condescending. He would do the same for any girl in his life, not just you, so this is one situation when you have to agree that he’s got the best intentions and he’s just looking out for you. Better to be safe than sorry.
- Order for you. Okay, this is definitely up for debate, and can get creepy and controlling pretty quickly. But generally, if you’re in a serious relationship and you guys have a fave spot where you each always order the exact same thing, you can’t get mad at your boyfriend for assuming you still want the cheeseburger and fries.
- Ask if you’re cold/okay/happy/etc. Yeah, you’re the one running the show when it comes to your life, but it doesn’t hurt that your guy cares about you. If you’re in a freezing movie theatre and he asks if you’re, well, freezing, don’t freak out because you can decide for yourself if you’re shivering. If you’re having a bad day and he asks if you’re feeling alright, don’t roll your eyes because you can take care of yourself. It’s sweet that he takes an interest in you.
- Put his arm around you in public. You’ve been going out on your own forever, and you can hold your own. But he just wants to be close to you and show the world how lucky he is to be with you. Let him. Not everything has to be a super independent act. Sometimes it’s nice to just be part of a happy couple. That’s why you went through all those awkward first dates, right?
