You’re going to miss me once you realize what you’ve lost. I’m an amazing catch and I always treated you well:

I actually really cared about you. 

I did a lot for you over the course of our relationship. I cared about you even more than I cared about myself. I would’ve done anything to make you happy, but you still thought that leaving was your best option.

I don’t mess around.

I tell the truth. I know it hurts to hear sometimes, but it’s better than playing guessing games. You never appreciated the fact that you could ask me a question and I’d give you a genuine answer instead of beating around the bush.

I never did anything to hurt you.

I could’ve cheated on you or broken your heart or made fun of your crappy wardrobe choices, but I never did. I treated you like you were the best thing to ever happen to me. Once, I thought you actually were.

I have my own life.

I never bothered you during poker nights or asked you to cut down on time at work so we could spend more time together. I gave you your space, because I needed my own. Not all couples are that independent.

I have my act together.

I make my own money. I cook my own meals. I can take care of myself, and that’s something that you should’ve appreciated more while I was still around, because your future girlfriends will probably rely on you to do all of that for them.

I have plenty of other options.

You’re going to be jealous when you see me with someone else, and trust me, there are plenty of someone elses out there. I had my options, even when we were still together. Once I get over you, I won’t be alone for long.

I’m ready for something real. 

I never used you for sex and I never played mind games with you. I wanted a real relationship with someone I truly loved, and you fit the bill. I was serious about our relationship, but apparently you didn’t feel the same way.

Everyone’s going to miss me.

 Your parents are going to miss having a sweet girl around to take care of their son. Your friends are going to miss having a fun girl around who can handle her liquor. And your dog is going to miss having an extra friend around to play ball with. They’ll all be pissed that you let me walk away.

I went down on you all the time. 

You were lucky to get laid as often as you did. Not only did I go down on you multiple times a week, but I wouldn’t mind getting on top and doing all of the work during sex, either. Think of all of the orgasms you’re going to be missing out on now that I’m gone.

I would’ve never let you go. 

I loved you. I would’ve stayed with you forever if you wanted to keep me around. You’re the reason why this relationship didn’t work out, and one day, you’re going to realize how stupid you were for throwing it all away.

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