If You’re Trying To Decide Between Her & Me, Don’t Pick Me

If You’re Trying To Decide Between Her & Me, Don’t Pick Me ©iStock/martin-dm

When it comes to love, three’s a crowd. I’m not interested in drama or love triangles, so if you’re trying to make a choice between her and me, please don’t pick me. You shouldn’t have to “decide,” you should just know — if you don’t then I’ll choose for you. I’ll choose to leave.

  1. Love isn’t a decision. It’s a feeling. If you have to decide to love me, then you don’t really love me. Love isn’t a choice. It’s inevitable. You can’t force yourself to love someone, just like you can’t force yourself to stop loving someone. It should be automatic, and if it’s not then it’s just not real.
  2. You should know whether or not you love me. And whether or not you love her. How do you know when you love someone? You should just know, but obviously you don’t and that’s the problem. If you think you have a choice in the matter then you don’t know what real love is. If you can’t figure out whether or not you love me, you don’t. It’s as simple as that.
  3. If there’s a choice, then you’re already settling. So am I, for that matter. You don’t just catch a few fish and pick the best of the bunch. You wait for “The One” and if I’m not it, then please just move along. I don’t want to settle for a guy who thinks I’m just “good enough.” I deserve better than that and so does she.
  4. I’ll save myself the drama. A love triangle sounds like a hell of a lot of work, so I’ll pass. I’m not in high school anymore. I’m over the BS. I want a mature adult relationship, don’t you? I don’t want to play any more games. I’m tired of it all, so if I’m not the girl you want, then please save me from another second of agony.
  5. You’re not worthy of my love. If you can’t decide between us then you don’t deserve the love I give. I deserve to be with a guy who finds me irreplaceable. Every girl does. If you don’t feel lucky to be with me then maybe you’ll find better luck with her or any of the other fish in this damn sea. I want a guy who’s overwhelmed with love for me, but if you can’t decide then that’s obviously not you.
  6. This isn’t a competition. I’m not competing for your love because I shouldn’t have to. Women shouldn’t have to be enemies competing for the love of one man. There are no winners when you pit women against each other because in the end, whether you’re settling for her or me, we all lose.
  7. You’re just another guy. You’re no god and you’re not God’s gift to women, so why do you expect us to be fighting over you? To you, I’m just another girl, and the second you made the decision to create a choice between her and me you become just another lowlife guy to me. Congratulations.
  8. This choice isn’t up to you. It’s up to me, and I’m choosing to leave your sorry ass behind. Our relationship was supposed to be just the two of us, but you had to throw a third person into the mix. You think you can put us on a platter and pick your favorite dish, but I’ll choose for you. Bottom line — if you don’t know you want me, then I have no interest in you.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.