If You’re A Woman Who Plays Dating Games, You’re Doing Us All A Disservice

Dating games are complete BS and everyone should know that by now. Why, then, do some people still insist on playing them? I’m not only talking about guys here either — women can be just as guilty. If you’re still playing these dating games, you’re doing all of us a disservice.

  1. Stop playing hard to get; it’s ridiculous. Somewhere along the line, people decided that the best way to gain someone’s interest is by pretending they don’t give a damn about them, and that’s really messed up. Relationships work best when they’re built on honesty, not manipulative lies. Besides, why would you want to date someone who doesn’t give a damn about you?
  2. Quit pretending you don’t want something serious if you do. It’s perfectly normal to want a serious relationship; you’re not some freak of nature, and you’re not required to settle for a lifetime of empty casual sex if that’s not what you want. There’s absolutely no good reason to lie about what you want; if you’re not honest about your relationship goals, how will you ever achieve them? Also, settling for less sets the bar really low for guys; it encourages them to be players rather than gentlemen.
  3. Don’t play the jealousy game; people can get hurt. If you have feelings for someone, it’s really messed up to use another person to make them jealous. Why would you play with peoples’ emotions like that? It’s not cool; it’s mean and manipulative, and it also sends the message to guys that it’s OK to mess with people’s emotions for your own gain. When it comes down to it, honesty really is the best policy; it’s also the best foundation on which to build a relationship.
  4. Stop pretending you’re too busy to text back quickly. Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with having adequate communication skills. The fact that it’s even a common practice to purposely delay a response is mind-blowing. When you see the text pop up, there’s nothing wrong with replying right away. If you play the game and wait a few hours, people like you are part of the reason normal women are called “crazy” by losers.
  5. Quit settling for almost relationships. It can be tempting to play games when you’ve already met someone you really like and you’re scared that they might run away if you ask where they see the relationship going. As scary as it can be to ask the questions you need to ask, it’s better than sitting in limbo indefinitely and possibly wasting a lot of time. If you allow guys to lead you on and gaslight you into avoiding important questions, you’re sending the message that it’s OK to treat people like that, and it’s not.
  6. Love is a 4 letter word, but it’s not a bad one. It can be scary to say that word, but it’s also amazing. Love is one of the most incredible feelings in the world; it should be celebrated, not scorned. If you know you love someone and you aren’t telling them for fear of being judged or ghosted, you’re contributing to the BS notion that love is an unpleasant word; that concept is bad for everyone because the world needs more love, not less.
  7. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge your future goals. One of the biggest games people play is essentially “future chicken.” Who will be brave enough to bring up future goals like marriage and/or kids and who will chicken out? It shouldn’t be such a scary topic to discuss. The point of dating is to find someone you can spend your life with, and mutual goals are important. By avoiding the topic, you’re legitimizing the taboo and potentially wasting your time dating someone who doesn’t want the same things you do.
  8. It’s OK to let the walls down and let someone in. In today’s world, everyone keeps their walls up and trust is at an all-time low. When it comes to dating, trust should be a top priority. If you feel the need to keep your walls up with someone, it means that something’s not right. If you’re putting on the act to avoid being stigmatized as “weak,” that game is BS and you should stop playing it. It’s not really that profound; just be honest.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible.