If You’ve Been Together Awhile & You’re Not His Girlfriend, RUN!

If You’ve Been Together Awhile & You’re Not His Girlfriend, RUN! ©iStock/Pekic

If you’ve been with a guy for an extended period of time and he still isn’t willing to put a label on it, it’s probably not a good sign. He keeps telling you how much he cares about you and loves having you around, so what gives? Any excuses he gives for not making things official are BS — if you’ve been together for awhile and you’re not his girlfriend, run!

  1. He’s not “not ready” — he just doesn’t want to be with you. If you’ve spent months on end with a guy but he’s not willing to actually call you his girlfriend, it’s not because he’s not ready — it’s because he doesn’t want to call you his girlfriend. It has nothing to do with timing and more to do with his feelings for you, and you deserve better.
  2. It’s a waste of time. You’re putting your precious time and energy into something that really isn’t good for you. Loving someone for a long time without being able to call him your partner is destructive, and in the end, you’ll just wind up being angry with yourself for being exceptionally patient while he figures out you’re not The One.
  3. You’re keeping his bed warm, but for what? If he’s not willing to call you his girlfriend and you’ve been doing the dating thing for a really long time, chances are he’s just killing time with you. His feelings haven’t developed enough to take you seriously, but he doesn’t want to be alone, so you’re just there until he finds someone better.
  4. He’s never going to change the way he feels. You’ve been acting like a couple for years, but he still won’t label it and it’s because he will never want you to be his girlfriend. Feelings don’t take that long to develop, and waiting around in the hope that things will change is stupid.
  5. He just doesn’t love you. This one sounds harsh, and that’s because it is — but that doesn’t change the fact that if he doesn’t love you by now, he never will and it’s time you stopped trying to forge a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you be upfront about it.
  6. You’ll only end up heartbroken. The more you push for an official relationship status, the more he pulls away. And when he does finally realize you’re not letting it go, he’s going to let you go and you’re going to be devastated. It’s better to cut the cord now so you can move on to someone who will shout from the rooftops that you’re his girlfriend.
  7. He’s taking advantage of you. When a guy strings you along for years telling you he’s not comfortable with labels it’s not because he doesn’t want to be called someone’s boyfriend. It’s because he has it so good in his no-girlfriend situation that he doesn’t have to show you the respect you deserve because you aren’t demanding it.
  8. He’s an ass. Plain and simple, if he’s been doing this song and dance with you for awhile but still refuses to call you his girlfriend, he’s just an ass. And you deserve better than that, anyway.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at AngelicaBottaro.ca. She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.