You just went through a breakup, your heart is a pile of rubble, and everyone has something to say about it. It’s one of the most aggravating side effects of ending a relationship. You get to the point where you avoid telling people because you’re so sick of it all! Here are several of the trite lines that make you want to crawl under a rock and hide forever:
- You’ll be better off in the long run. This is a popular sentiment and one of the most annoying. You want nothing more than to smack every person who says this when you’re barely even over the shock of what’s happened yet. They waste no time rushing in to tell you how much you’ll benefit from your heartbreak — meanwhile, you can barely function. Not. Helpful.
- It’s his loss. People generally mean well when they say this, but it’s stupid because no relationship is that simple. Sure, they are trying to make you feel better, but unless he did something horrible to you … it won’t. Even if he did, it might not help. Emotions get so crazy after a breakup that you don’t know what you think or feel anymore.
- You’re going to be okay. Sure, someday, but when you feel like you can’t breathe and every second is pure torture, this is not constructive! Knowing that weeks or months or even years down the line you’ll feel better doesn’t make it any easier to endure pain in the moment. You need time and that person needs to STFU.
- I’m always here when you need anything. This is the worst because most people who say it are honestly full of crap. You’ll know the ones who aren’t and you’ll be glad to have them. Everyone else will say this and then when you’re crying your eyes out constantly and you’ve barely eaten for days, they’re nowhere to be found.
- He didn’t deserve you anyway. Well, gee, that’s good to know. You can never trust this statement because the person who says this is inevitably the same friend who was gushing about how great the two of you were together. You know it’s all about telling you what you want to hear, so you just want them to stop talking and go away already.
- Love isn’t always meant to last. Seriously? Someone is hitting you with that right after the person you loved trampled your heart? Words cannot express the rage you should feel at this insensitivity. Obviously this jerk has never experienced true heartbreak or somehow has convenient amnesia about how awful it is.
- At least it ended amicably. Oh, yeah, great. Nothing bad happened — you just don’t want the same future — so you had to part ways with someone you still love tremendously, which is maybe THE TOUGHEST CHOICE EVER. Is it mature? Yes. Is it the right thing to do? Yes. Does it hurt worse than you could’ve ever imagined? Also yes.
- It’s better that it’s happening now rather than later. Ohhhh man. This is a fun one. It’s sure to make you feel better when you’re mourning the death of something you considered immeasurably precious. That’s correct, though, yes, better that it didn’t happen later down the line … because this doesn’t hurt at all, right? You’re so lucky.
- You’re strong — you’ll get through this. This is a terrible statement to make because it infers that you are not allowed to be human. It’s actually insulting as hell. It’s dismissive of your heartache and pain and basically tells you to buck up and get over it. Anything else would be reprehensible weakness. It’s an incredibly unfair sentiment cloaked as a message of encouragement.
- Don’t waste your time thinking about him anymore. Oh, well, now that someone told you that … because obviously you don’t spend every minute of every day wishing that you could just stop the obsessive thoughts. You’re exhausted from thinking about him so much. You can’t sleep, you can’t sleep, and you want nothing more than to erase him from your mind. If only it were that easy.
- Try to take care of yourself. Again, this is meant with good intentions. Still, anyone who has been through a tough breakup knows just how difficult it is to even go about the simplest tasks. You count it as a good day if you make it out of bed in the morning, let alone eat a full meal. You go through the motions. Maybe you even take a bath once in a while. It feels empty and meaningless.
- Everything happens for a reason. Ooooh. OOOOH. Quite frankly, screw anyone who says that, ever, about anything sad that’s happened to you. This person is a jackass. They’re spouting this nonsense at you because they think it sounds good and they don’t care one bit about your pain. If this is a so-called friend, you should probably get rid of them. What a pompous, uncaring way to speak.
- It just wasn’t meant to be. Oh, but of course. Aren’t you glad that’s cleared up for you? Now you can happily go about your life as if your guts aren’t ripped out and lying on the floor. You must be so grateful. This is perhaps the worst thing anyone can say to you after you’ve lost the person you thought you’d be with forever. It makes you feel like an idiot for thinking it would work out.
- We all think you can do better. Oh, wow, what terrific friends. You’re barely single and they tell you now that they hated your ex all along? Isn’t that great? Maybe they should’ve been real pals, done the tough thing and talked to you about it a long time ago. This isn’t encouraging, it’s enraging. You don’t want to do better. You just want to grieve what you’ve lost. People need to give you some damn space to heal.
