If Your Heart’s Been Broken, Here’s How To Put It Back Together Again

Being deeply in love can be wild and extremely intoxicating, and it’s so easy to get so lost in all the feels. Having things come to an end is never even a possibility… until it actually happens. Suddenly, your world feels like it’s on a downward spiral as you deal with your heart being crushed and completely obliterated into a million tiny pieces. If you’re struggling in the aftermath of a tough breakup, here’s a few useful ways you can recover from heartbreak gracefully:

1. Don’t Take it Personally. It’s normal to blame yourself when things come to an end. You wonder what you could’ve done differently to save the relationship, but playing the blame game and pointing the finger at yourself isn’t going to make things any better. It’s time to come to terms with the fact that the relationship is indeed over, and the two of you simply weren’t a good match. There’s no need to beat yourself up over it.
2. Get Pumped About Dating Again. You may not be ready to fire up your Plenty of Fish profile again, but you can still get yourself pumped up about heading back out into the dating world. Knowing that your love life is a work in progress and your happily ever after is right around the corner is a surefire way to get you excited about your dating prospects and finding true love in the future.
3. Don’t Call Him. Seriously, step away from the phone. The worst thing you can do at this point is to call your ex and beg for him to give you a second chance. If he’s the one who ended things, it’s likely it wasn’t some rash decision. Things were probably going south for awhile, and he finally had the balls to pull the plug. Crying, begging and pleading isn’t going to turn things around in your favor, so delete his number if you have to. It’ll definitely help you move on much quicker.
4. Treat Yourself. It’s time to do something nice for yourself to boost your self-esteem. Dry those tears, put a big smile on your face, and finally book that balayage appointment you’ve been putting off all this time. When you take care of yourself and treat yourself with love and kindness, you’ll start to feel better on the inside and look even better on the outside!
5. Take a Social Media Break. Long gone are the days when you get your heart broken and your ex disappears from your life forever. These days, when a relationship goes sour, you still have to see your ex’s face pop up on your social media timeline every few hours. If you’re nursing a broken heart, the best thing for you to do is deactivate all of your social media accounts. Resist the urge to check up on him online because it’s only going to make it harder for you to put the pieces back together and move on. And besides, who gives AF what he’s doing or thinking right now?
6. Don’t Try to Be Friends. After ripping your heart out of your chest and stomping on it, your ex may extend an olive branch by suggesting the two of you remain friends. Whatever you do, don’t accept the offer! Well, not right away at least. It’s almost impossible to be friends with someone you’re still in love with. You’ll want to jump his bones every time you come in contact with him and don’t expect him to stop you. He’ll definitely want to keep you around as an FWB until he moves on and finds someone else he wants to be in a relationship with. Knowing you’ve been dumped into the friend zone and you can’t have him will only make things worse. Until you’re completely over him, friendship shouldn’t even be an option.
7. Surround Yourself With the Ones Who Love You. When a relationship ends, it’s easy to throw a pity party for yourself. You may think you’re unlovable and unlikeable, but that’s simply not the case. Just because your ex didn’t think you were The One it doesn’t mean you’re not an amazing person. Spending time with the people who really care about you is an easy way to remind yourself that there are still people out there who love you, care about you and enjoy your company! Let them tell you just how amazing you are and how deserving you are of real love. Soon enough, you’ll start to actually believe them.
8. Cry It Out. Society tells us to be strong, and girl anthems like Beyoncé’s “Irreplaceable” tell us not to stress over guys because there’s always another one waiting in the wings. But the truth is, we’re human. We’re not made of steel, we’re not unemotional, and we’re definitely not able to brush our shoulders off five seconds after getting dumped by a guy we love. It’s okay to cry it out for as long as you need to. Letting your emotions out and grieving the end of the relationship is a part of the process. Give yourself a timeline to feel like complete idiot, and then, slowly start to move forward while leaving your bitter breakup in the past.
9. Write Him an Email…But Don’t Hit “Send”! Pour your heart out in an email and tell him just how you feel. Writing out all of your emotions is like a form of therapy, and it’ll instantly make you feel better about the breakup. But whatever you do, don’t send the email! Save it to your drafts or email it to yourself instead. You can write these emails as often as you need to. Although they’re addressed to him, they’re not for him, they’re for you!  When you’re feeling lonely, when you really miss him, or when you just want to tell him how much of a jerk he is, get to typing and pour your heart out.
10. Remain Positive and Happy. You probably want to curl into bed and sleep the pain away, but as soon as you wake up, the pain will come flooding back. Instead, try to remain positive and happy by thinking about all your good qualities and remembering all the good things that are going on in your life. Expressing gratitude for having a good job or for getting into the school of your choice will remind you of the bigger picture. Relationships are an integral part of our lives, but they aren’t the be-all end-all. Keep reminding yourself over and over that things will get better one day at a time, and soon enough, you won’t have to fake it anymore. Your happiness will be restored, and your heart will be healed.