12 Texts To Send Your Ex When You’re Thinking About Getting Back Together

Sometimes on reflection you realize that a former partner might still be “The One.” If your ex has left you wanting a second take, it’s important to start a conversation and figure out where the two of you now stand. Luckily, it’s pretty easy to begin the process with some of these low-key texts.

  1. “This made me think of you.” You don’t want to go from limited contact to suddenly begging your ex for another chance. First, send a meme/picture/funny video you know they’ll appreciate. It’s a great way to show that you’re still thinking of them without getting too serious upfront.
  2. “I still have your shirt/hat/favorite book.” Things get mixed up in breakups. If you’re looking for a way to reconnect, this is a blessing. Telling your ex you still have some of their things serves two nifty purposes. It lets them know you’re open to seeing them again for an exchange and it lets them know you’ve been keeping their belongings safe. You’ve never stopped caring.
  3. “Remember that time we…” Getting back together with an ex is a process, and the initial goal is just to reopen communication. Share a fun memory of you two together to let your ex know you’re reflecting on the good times. If all goes well, they’ll want to do the same.
  4. “Congratulations!” You’re still following each other on social media, right? Use that knowledge to your advantage. Obviously you don’t want to do a deep dive on Instagram and mention their story from six months ago. But if they’ve just been promoted at work or finished writing their novel, let them know you respect their hard work.
  5. “How are you doing?” Maybe they haven’t bragged about their successes on public platforms. No problem. Just ask what’s up. Add specifying details to this text if you can. Was your ex working on a big project or personal goal while you two were breaking up? Let them know that not only are you remembering the past, you’re also interested in their life apart from you and respect their independent accomplishments.
  6. “I’m really excited that I’ve…” Show your ex that you haven’t just been pining. You’ve been out there accomplishing dreams and becoming a stronger person. Whether you’ve learned to love your body or gotten a big raise (or both!) be honest and vulnerable about your personal development. You want your ex to know that you’re in a good place to reunite, in tune with yourself whether you’re coupled or not.
  7. “How are your family/friends?” No ex is an island. You’ll want to show that you see them as part of a network, a network you’ll be rejoining if the two of you reconcile. Show that you’re ready to fit seamlessly into your ex’s life because nobody should ever have to pick and choose between romance and platonic relationships. Show genuine care for the people they care about most.
  8. “Are you seeing anyone?” Once you’ve shown that you’re invested in your ex as a whole and independent person with a life outside you, you have to ask the toughest question of all. After all, if your goal is to get back together, you don’t want to put too much emotional investment into somebody who’s unavailable. If they’re dating someone new, warmly wish them the best. If they’re not, now’s the time to start deepening the conversation and homing in on what you really want.
  9. “I wish I’d told you…” We all say things we regret in the time leading to a breakup. It’s hard to get back with an ex unless you’ve acknowledged that hurt. Think about the communication breakdowns and the words you wish you could clarify or take back. Let your ex process this. If they seem to brush you off with a one-word reply or become upset with you, this might not be the time for an attempted reunion. But if they reply more thoughtfully, you’re on the right track.
  10. “You’re still the funniest/kindest/smartest person I know.” Take a moment to tell your ex what makes them shine in your eyes. Whether they keep you laughing till your belly hurts or make you think in new ways, remind them just what makes them so important.
  11. “I miss you.” It’s scary to be so open-ended because, again, your ex can easily brush this off if they want to. But the goal here is to see how they respond to your revelations. If you can tell they’re ready to engage, they’re still worth your time. If you can tell they’re just uncomfortable, you can reassess your own interest.
  12. “Would you like to get together?” Texting is a great tool for romance recon, but ultimately you’ll want to have a conversation face-to-face before you decide if you’re ready to ask to get together again. Go for a walk or plan a Zoom date. Any format where you get to see each other’s body language and hear each other’s inflection will do the trick.
Jackie Dever is a freelance writer and editor in Southern California. When she's not working, she enjoys hiking, reading, and sampling craft beers.