10 Awkward Things You Deal With When You Feel Like The Fat Friend In Your Group

Being the only fat friend in a group of thin girls is a serious test of your self-esteem. On one hand, you might be totally confident in the way you look, but it’s the pressure from the outside that can threaten to crack you. Your friends might be supportive, but even they come out with some pretty WTF things sometimes. Here are 10 things that suck about being the only fat friend — trust me, I’ve been one all my life.

  1. Having to constantly listen to you thin friends call themselves fat It’s quite a confusing thing to hear a friend tell you you’re beautiful even though you’re fat, then call herself fat and disgusting for having a slight tummy bulge in the same breath. You start questioning if that’s actually what that friend secretly thinks of you, even though that might not be the case.
  2. Always wondering if a guy is approaching you just to get to your friend No, this doesn’t just happen in the movies. It’s always a struggle gauging a guy’s intent. It’s not unusual to ask yourself if he’s pretending to be interested in you as a joke or to get your thinner friend’s number. I know a lot of bigger girls who develop deep insecurities of not being good enough because of this and I’m one of them.
  3. Worrying that you’re the only single one because you’re fat and therefore undateable Back in high school, I had exactly one “boyfriend” (and I use that word lightly), while my thin friends had a new one every year. We’d go out and I would literally be the 15th wheel while everyone was coupled up. It’s the most embarrassing thing to sit by yourself in a group of people making eyes at each other and stealing kisses. My brain was quick to come to the conclusion that I was clearly single because I was fat. That might not be the case, but it doesn’t keep the thought from entering your brain.
  4. Thinking your friends are ashamed of you There’s always that fear in the back of your mind that your smaller friends are embarrassed to be seen with you. You take pictures as a group and you think this picture would look so much better if you weren’t in it. You get ready in a group at someone’s house, watching your smaller friends get dolled up and pretty while thinking you look a mess with 50 pounds of makeup on your face because your belly doesn’t lay flat in your dress. You start to wonder if you should just stay home and save everyone the embarrassment of being associated with you, even though your friends tell you that you look beautiful.
  5. Friends teasing strangers for being overweight right in front of you I don’t know if they thought I wouldn’t hear or that my self-esteem is made of steel, but there are countless occasions where my smaller friends have criticized someone’s weight right in front of me. They would point at a fat stranger and laugh at their weight and style of clothing, saying that person shouldn’t be wearing such and such because of their size. When I’d tell them that I basically look just like that and dress like that all the time, they backtracked. “Oh no, not you, you look good in those things!” Yeah, right.
  6. Being Embarrassed on public transportation It’s always a nerve-wracking moment attempting to take public transportation with your thin friends. Whether it’s being stuck with a middle seat on a plane or wondering if you can fit into the only available seat on the subway, it’s pretty mortifying any way you slice it.
  7. Being the second choice Guys will literally see you standing with a smaller friend, completely ignore you, ask her out, get rejected, then proceed to ask YOU out. A lot of guys are of the mentality that fat girls are easy catches because they might not get asked out a lot, and so you’ll be just SO happy that someone actually wants you. WTF?
  8. Thinking someone is your friend because they feel sorry for you Are your thinner friends really your friends or do they just feel sorry for the fat girl that everyone else was ignoring? It’s a harsh way to look at it, but when you’re constantly being picked last and the only difference you can see between you and your peers is that you’re bigger, it’s easy to constantly be asking yourself why someone would pick you.
  9. Not being able to shop in the same stores My thinner friends can literally walk into a store, find something they like, pick it straight from the rack, try it on, pay and go. That’s not a possibility when you’re anywhere past a US size 18 or 20. It’s the most draining thing to step inside a store, find something you like and hope to hell they have your size  — and that’s not to mention the small dressing rooms struggles, including crying and praying you don’t rip anything.
  10. Struggling to love yourself even though you don’t look like others around you All of us on same base level want to feel loved and accepted. It’s quite hard to feel any of those things when you’re treated differently based on the way you look. It’s even harder when what you want to become is constantly beside you in the shape of your friends. That said, I think bigger girls should realize that you deserve love and respect no matter your size. Also, you should be careful of projecting your insecurities on our friends, because truthfully, nine times out of 10 they really do love and appreciate you just the way you are. Beauty really, truly does come in all shapes and sizes and screw anyone who thinks differently.
I like to think the phrase "Lover not a fighter" was specifically designed with me in mind. 21 year old island girl who's just trying to understand the world by writing about it :)