By this point in time, you should know how to kiss someone. You’ve probably done it enough to be proficient, right? Unfortunately, that’s not necessarily how it works. Be kind to yourself, though — if you’re inexperienced, you’re not “behind” everyone else. We all have to start somewhere. Read on for some kissing tips for men to level up your game and keep your girl coming back for more!
- Ask for consent. This is an obvious starting point and one that everyone everywhere needs to integrate into the center of any new romantic sojourn. It’s not weird or ‘unsexy’ to ask for consent, and it’s not nerdy or uncool. Frankly, there’s nothing hotter than someone looking at me with intent in their eyes and “can I kiss you?” on their lips. Uhuh. I’m not talking about someone looking away and mumbling ‘sure’. It’s an enthusiastic “yes” or nothing. I read once that “yes” doesn’t count as consent if “no” wasn’t a safe option. Let’s make sure we make consent clear.
- Take it slow. Don’t rush into anything and start gently. No one should be biting your lip straight away, this is all about getting into each other’s space and feeling safe. Languish in the feeling and emotion of the moment — what’s the rush?
- Tease a little. In a similar vein to the last point, start with slow touches. Don’t be afraid to tease them too, because that will only drive them mad. Look at them then look away. Touch the back of their neck. Make them want more. This is one of the best kissing tips for men and women as it really ups the excitement levels.
- Kiss her hands first. Are you a courtly gentleman from the Regency era? Maybe not, but you will make her feel like a lady. Showing that you respect and treasure another person is a great step towards making her feel safe and secure. This will erase some awkwardness (there will be some, though – it’s a universal fact of life) and allow you both to relax.
- Throw in some forehead kisses. This is a massive step in intimacy. Intimacy isn’t just all about sex and drugs and rock and roll, after all. If you show her little ways that you care about her, physically and emotionally, you’re on the right track.
- Find your rhythm together. It takes two to tango, and two people to kiss. Don’t just think about what you like, try to read her body language and hints to see what she wants. If she’s pulling away or redirecting you, let her. This is great for the long run because she sees you as a long-term prospect to whom she wants to assert her needs, rather than just letting a mediocre one-night stand pass without incident.
- Use walls and gravity to your advantage. I’m not saying you need to throw her across your apartment, but hey, you can get creative. Think of it like a TV set that you can use for better positions and more satisfying outcomes. Kitchen counters, sofas, walls, beds — hang on to anything when you’re making out and it’ll feel more adventurous. She can also use this to find new ways to drive you crazy too.
- Kiss her ears and neck. These are areas that everyone loves to be kissed in because they’re so sensitive. Don’t go mad, but these are the secret, intimate gestures that really get you in the good books. Trust me.
- Use tongue with discretion. If you feel compelled to use your tongue, do so slowly and tentatively. Lick her lower lip in a quick motion, and if she welcomes it, then proceed. Otherwise, absolutely do not push the matter. One has to be in the mood for such things, and no one wants an unsolicited washing machine syndrome. Keep the saliva to a minimum. A sexy sentence, I know, but a necessary one — and find a rhythm.
- Make eye contact when you come up for air. Even the most passionate kiss cannot last forever, and eventually, you will have to take a breath. When you do this, look into your partner’s eyes and really see them. This will lock you together and initiate round two. Brace yourself.
There you are, some basic hints and tips for those just starting out at kissing, or for the men who are theorizing that their technique needs some work. No matter how it finds you, I hope the article is helpful!