10 Reasons NOT To Be Jealous Of Your BFF’s New BF

You’re BFF just got a new boyfriend. All you can think of is the fact that she’s going to have less time for you and that while she’s living happily ever after her, you’ll still be single AF without a partner in crime. You might feel a little bit jealous—that’s only natural—but here’s why you shouldn’t:

  1. If you love her, you’ll be happy for her. Doesn’t your friend deserve happiness? If she’s your best friend then you obviously love her and think she’s amazing, so don’t you want a guy for her that sees that too? If she’s happy, then be happy for her. Wanting her to be single and alone just because you are is just plain selfish. Loving her selflessly and being happy for her, will help you be happy too.
  2. You’re not losing her. You’re gaining a guy friend. The best thing you can do in this situation is embrace her new guy. Don’t think of her new relationship as the end of your friendship—think of it as the beginning of a new friendship with her new boyfriend. Who knows? You might just get along and he might just become one of your best friends too. Plus, he could be a great source of dating advice and knowledge of all things guys.
  3. Her new guy could expand your dating pool. He has guy friends and family members. He comes with a whole life and plenty of new people for you to meet. Just think about it—this guy could just be the guy to introduce you to YOUR guy. Great dudes usually have great friends. See this as an opportunity for you to meet someone too because you both deserve love.
  4. A good friend won’t leave you behind. She used to spend all of her time with you and now she’s spending some of that sacred time with him instead. That might not be an easy transition, but she’s not leaving you behind. She got a boyfriend—she didn’t move to Siberia. Let her have her time with the man that makes her heart skip a beat and remember that if you have a true friendship, you’ll always be a priority.
  5. Your time will come. You don’t need a new boyfriend just because she has one. In fact, take this opportunity to hone your independence. Maybe you’ve been depending on your best friend a little too much. You can’t let her be your interim boyfriend. It’s time for you to spread your wings and fly solo for a while. It doesn’t mean you’ll be alone forever—it just means that this is her time for love and your time is yet to come.
  6. He might not even be “the one.” Don’t think the second she meets a guy that he’s going to sweep her away and she’ll suddenly be your married friend who no longer has time for a single girl like you. Of course you want her relationship to work out, but the reality is that this guy might not even be right for her. Don’t go getting depressed over the idea that she’ll be moving to the suburbs and living the soccer mom lifestyle any day now. Just take this new part of her life one step at a time.
  7. You have to put yourself in her shoes. What if you were the one with the new boyfriend? Wouldn’t you want your best friend, the person who’s supposed to be rooting for you, to be happy for you? Wouldn’t you want her to respect that fact that you need to make time for your new relationship too? You’d want her to be understanding and supportive of your new love, and that’s exactly how you should be towards her.
  8. There’s room in her heart for both of you. She should be able to remain best friends with you and pursue love at the same time. Don’t make her choose between her new guy and you. That’s not fair to anyone. You can’t have her whole heart but you’ll always occupy a large piece of it. There’s plenty of room for both of you in her life but only if you let there be. Don’t be possessive—there’s enough of her to share.
  9. He’s not going to replace you. He might become her best friend but it’ll always be in a different way. Friendships with guys are different than friendships between girls and even more different when that friendship is based off a romantic relationship. No matter what, she’s always going to need you. If you left, you’d leave a void in her heart that no man could ever fill.
  10. Losing a friendship over a guy is just plain silly. If she didn’t steal your boyfriend then there’s nothing wrong with the fact that she has a new man in her life. Be the type of friends and the type of women who would never let a guy come between you. He might hold a special place in her heart, but so do you. Don’t be jealous, just be thankful that one of your friends has survived the single life and found a man who loves her the way she deserves because if she’s a good friend, that’s exactly what she wants for you too.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.