10 Signs A Guy Is Insecure, According To A Guy

It may surprise some of you to know just how prone guys are to being insecure. Needless to say, it’s not easy to build a relationship with someone who lacks self-confidence. For that reason, it’s important to recognize the signs of an insecure man. Sometimes they’re obvious, but many times the signs are much more subtle.

  1. He lies. It’s not always easy to spot a liar, but if you suspect a guy is telling you some obvious untruths, they may be coming from a place of insecurity. Some guys are uncomfortable with who they are or being themselves around people. Instead, they try to be who they think you want them to be. Naturally, that leads to plenty of fibbing. Deep down, some guys are worried about not being good enough and that insecurity leads to lies and exaggerations.
  2. He’s an introvert. To be fair, not all introverts are insecure people. Some of them are just painfully shy and quiet. However, introverts who only seem to have one or two close friends tend to be insecure. If a guy is too self-conscious to make friends, he’ll be even more insecure when it comes to pursuing romantic relationships. What you want is an introvert who has a tight group of four or five friends; those guys are shy but don’t have insecurity holding them back.
  3. He’s overly critical. This is particularly true with guys who are critical of the women they date. He doesn’t want you to notice his own faults so he tries to bring attention to your shortcomings. His insecurity will also make him feel like he needs to feel superior to the people around him. This sometimes manifests itself as criticism and cruelty. In other words, a guy who’s mean to you is probably a little insecure deep down.
  4. He doesn’t offer opinions. Guys who are insecure tend to not rock the boat. Again, they’re worried that they aren’t good enough for you, so they just tend to agree with you about everything. They won’t offer an unpopular opinion and they may not offer an opinion at all. This is a rather boring type of insecurity that stems from a fear that he’ll upset you if he disagrees with you.
  5. He tries to prove his masculinity. No, a guy always trying to prove his manhood is not a “macho man.” On the contrary, he’s probably an insecure one. Confident men are comfortable men and they don’t feel the need to show off or prove anything to anybody. If a guy is going out of his way to show off his masculinity, it’s probably because he’s insecure deep down.
  6. He needs constant reassurance. This one shouldn’t be too hard to spot. Insecure guys are always about how they look and how people in the world see them. They’ll fish for compliments and ask a lot of questions about themselves in hopes of getting positive responses. If a guy is always checking with you to make sure he hasn’t done anything wrong or disappointed you, he might seem attentive and caring, but he also might be a little insecure beneath the surface.
  7. He makes comparisons. Most guys hate it when their girlfriends compare them to other people, especially ex-boyfriends. However, insecure guys have no problem comparing themselves to others. They’ll look for any way to give their egos a boost and pump themselves up. They might brag about being better than their co-workers or being taller or better looking than a guy on TV or one of your male friends. This is mostly harmless, but it is a good sign that a guy has some confidence issues.
  8. He gets defensive. This is another one that should be easy to spot. Not surprisingly, insecure guys have fragile egos. They tend to freak out if they end up being wrong about something or if something happens that could make them appear less attractive. If a guy is too quick to defend himself, it’s usually a sign of insecurity.
  9. He gets jealous easily. There are a lot of reasons why a guy might get jealous, but insecurity is usually the underlying condition. As I mentioned earlier, insecure guys are always worried that they’re not good enough for their girlfriends. Along those same lines, they worry about being left for someone else. If a guy is insecure, he will become instantly jealous when you bring up a co-worker, one of your guy friends, or any new person in your life.
  10. His feelings are overwhelming. Admittedly, this feels a little weird to say, but affection can be a double-edged sword. Insecure guys tend to overdo it when it comes to expressing their feelings. They might use “the L-word” too soon or say they can’t live without you way too early in the relationship. Insecure guys tend to get attached quickly in a new relationship. They had doubts about finding someone and so they don’t want that person to get away from them. To be fair, it’s not the worst thing in the world. But a guy who seems clingy and has overwhelming feelings early in a relationship usually has some insecurity issues to work through.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.