The Slow Fade: 10 Signs He’s Ghosting You

The Slow Fade: 10 Signs He’s Ghosting You iStock

It sucks, but most of us have been there before. One day you’re happy and talking to a guy, and the next you can’t get him to be in the same room with you. Ghosting is still a serious epidemic in the dating world these days, but it’s hard to really know what’s going on while it’s happening. If there’s any confusion about what’s really going on, here are a few signs he’s trying to pull the slow fade on you. The sooner you know, the better.

  1. He conveniently “forgets” you texted/messaged/called. He’s keeping you on the back burner so he sometimes gets back to you, then gives you this tired excuse of why he has been invisible for weeks. Don’t fall for it. He didn’t forget, he just doesn’t want to talk to you unless it suits him. That’s because he’s pulling the slow fade. He hopes you’ll eventually pick up the hint and stop reaching out.
  2. Magically, all platforms of communication aren’t working for him. You texted him and he hasn’t answered in a long time so you try Facebook or Twitter. Nope, nada. If you don’t get an answer, don’t think something is wrong with his accounts. He’s just being a jerk. He’s online but he’s not replying to your messages for a reason.
  3. Your mutual friends get awkward when you bring him up. Before you all hung out together, they may have even pushed you two to hook up! But now when you ask about where he’s been, they’re at a loss for words. You can’t blame them. It’s a weird position to be in, but if this is happening to you, then cut your losses.
  4. When you do speak, he keeps the conversation oddly short. You used to stay up late talking about everything you could possibly think of. Now he’s acting like you’re a complete stranger. What’s changed? His value! Don’t waste your time trying to get him to open up.
  5. He no longer shows up to places where you used to see him. When he stopped answering your messages, you were looking forward to seeing him at work, sitting next to him in class, or hanging out with your friends together. He had another plan, which is no longer hanging out with you in those areas. He comes up with a tired excuse why he can’t or says nothing at all. This might be the most hurtful sign because it’s very undeniable. You’re becoming a victim of the slow fade.
  6. You can remember a time he told you his ex is “nuts.” This is a red flag every girl should look out for. It’s often a cop out for a guy to not own up to something he did to her. “Nuts” can be a reasonable angry reaction to him giving the ex the silent treatment out of the blue. If you keep pursuing him for closure, chances are you’ll be the new “nuts” ex to the next girl he butters up. It’s not worth it.
  7. When you were talking, he was already a coward. Some guys claim to be “anti-drama” but they’re probably the same ones who all have weird exes. When you were seeing each other, did you notice he would disappear if you brought up a serious issue with him? Chances are he isn’t into confrontation, so he’ll be the type to ghost a girl when he sees fit.
  8. He said he didn’t want anything serious. It’s pretty reasonable to want a casual relationship, and you should be happy if a guy is brave enough to be honest about it. However, many of these guys end up moving on when they want, even if you don’t try to pressure them into a relationship.
  9. A new girl has seemingly taken your place. No, that’s not just a friend! You two used to be inseparable and a new girl is now all over him at the same time when he’s suddenly become “busy.” Don’t try to compete for him. Chances are, she’ll be his next ghosting victim anyway. Take this as a sign that something better is out there for you and move on.
  10. You’re blocked from his account. Not only is he avoiding you, but he’s stopping you from getting to him. Definitely take it as a sign that things are over. Don’t try to reach out to him. Gather up your dignity and self-respect, walk away, and don’t look back. He doesn’t deserve you anyway.
Nicole Weaver is a staff writer for YourTango and regularly contributes to Hollywood, The Bolde, and Proud2BMe. She is a lover of all things entertainment meaning she spends most of her nights in New York binge watching television shows. Follow her on Twitter at @nikkibernice.