Some relationships last way longer than they should, and that’s exactly what happened with my ex. I stayed with him because I thought our relationship was simply being tested. Couples go through rough patches and being incredibly bored with your partner is normal, right? It took a while for me to realize that we weren’t a couple going through a rough patch, we were a couple that shouldn’t have been together. Here’s how I eventually realized it:
- I Was Always Bored. He bored me and our relationship bored me even more. It got to the point that I only wanted to hang out with him if other people were involved. One-on-one time wasn’t something we could easily do. Not only could we never agree on where to eat dinner or what movie to see, but having a “casual conversation” with him was absolute torture.
- I Didn’t Care What He Did When He Wasn’t With Me. I didn’t care if he stayed out all night, and I wasn’t bothered when my friends told me about the girl who was “totally flirting with him” at the bar. Honestly, he could’ve flirted back for all I cared. I was emotionally detached from him, and he was the same with me. What was the point?
- I Couldn’t Imagine Marrying Him. The idea of marrying and having a family with him only crossed my mind when someone else would mention the idea — and whenever that happened, I’d feel low key sick to my stomach. Spending forever with him and having his children? Hell no. It wasn’t that he wasn’t a good and decent guy because he really was. I just couldn’t picture myself starting a life with him. I knew he wasn’t someone I could be with for the rest of my life.
- I Stopped Looking Forward To Sex. We had sex all the time, but it wasn’t because our sex life was amazing. For me, sleeping with him was more of a chore. It was like going grocery shopping. I never wanted to go grocery shopping, but I had to go if I wanted to eat (in this case, eating is equivalent to having an orgasm). That’s NOT normal.
- We Basically Lived Separate Lives. We didn’t have the same friends and we weren’t close to one another’s families. He did his thing and I did mine. We both liked it that way and here wasn’t any fighting or drama about it. How could there be? We so rarely communicated with each other.
- I Was Happier When I Wasn’t With Him. I enjoyed being with other people way more than being with him. Whenever he’d ask me to hang out (which was rare), I’d make up an excuse just so I could go to a movie by myself. Yup, I’d prefer to spend time alone rather than spend time with my boyfriend. If that wasn’t a sign that our relationship was over, I don’t know what was.
- I Started To Resent Him. You know when you already don’t like someone and then everything they do starts to piss you off that much more? That’s what was happening. I couldn’t stand it when he’d forget to put down the toilet seat or when he’d leave the cap off the toothpaste, and I almost punched him in the face every time he sneezed. He was driving me insane.
- I Emotionally Cheated. I didn’t physically cheat on him, but I definitely crossed boundaries that probably shouldn’t have been crossed. It was easy to for me to seek an emotional connection with another guy, especially because I wasn’t getting one from him. Before this relationship, I didn’t know how easy it was to cheat when you’re not happy with the person you’re with. Granted, my cheating was emotional, but I think that might be the worst kind.
- We Weren’t Involved In Each Others Passions. It might sound harsh, but I didn’t care about his goals and he didn’t care about mine. Because of that, we weren’t rooting for each other to succeed. I was rooting for myself and he was doing the same. A relationship is a partnership. Both people should be passionate and involved in what the other person is doing, but that wasn’t the case for us.
- I Wondered If I Was In A Dead End Relationship. I constantly questioned whether or not I wanted to be with him. It wasn’t just doubt or second-guessing; I knew in my heart that he wasn’t the person for me. I’d make up my mind to break up with him and then at the last minute I’d talk myself out of it. The fact that I questioned my relationship so much told me it was time to move on.
