10 Signs You Need Better Friends

10 Signs You Need Better Friends ©iStock/Geber86

Good friends are hard to come by, but when you find them, you need to hold on tight. Does your social circle need a revamp? If you can relate to any of the following, you may need to upgrade your BFFs.

  1. You can’t trust them with your secrets. A friend who can’t keep her mouth shut is no friend at all. Just like relationships, friendships are built on trust. Everyone deserves a certain amount of privacy, so the women you chose to share your deepest darkest secrets with should make sure those skeletons stay in the closet.
  2. They’re only around for the good times. You know that friend that’s always the life of the party? Well, just because hanging out with her is a blast doesn’t mean she’ll be around when life blows up in your face. Good friends are around for the good and the bad.
  3. You’re always cleaning up their messes. It’s sad to say that some friends drag you down, but unfortunately, it’s too often the reality of so many friendships. Whether the girl is drunk and sloppy or actually breaking laws, you don’t need that stress in your life. Her screw-ups aren’t your problem, and if she can’t get her act together, you might just be better off without her drama.
  4. They take you for granted. Think about how much effort you put into your friendships. Are your friends as invested as you are? In order to have a friend, you need to be a friend. Can you honestly say that your friends appreciate everything you do for them? If not, what you need to find is a friend that gives as much as she gets.
  5. You spend more time as enemies than as friends. The history of your friendship shouldn’t be marked by a long series of fights. Just like relationships, there are healthy and unhealthy friendships. You should be allies, not constantly at war. Sure, friends fight, but there should always be more good times than bad.
  6. They don’t fight fair. You don’t want to be fighting all the time, but there will be fights every now and then. That’s life. That being said, you shouldn’t be approaching every fight like it’s your last. There’s no need to start rumors, sabotage relationships, or reveal a friend’s deepest darkest secret. Bottom line — if you want the friendship to last, don’t play dirty.
  7. You can’t trust them with your boyfriends. Come on, this is friendship 101 — you don’t go after your friend’s guy. A girl who flirts with your boyfriend or a guy you’re even interested in is no friend at all. You need a wingwoman helping you find love, not a heartless attention seeker stealing it.
  8. They make you feel bad about yourself. Your friends are supposed to build you up, not tear you down. When you can’t see the good in yourself, they should be there to remind you of just how amazing you are. They’re friends with you for a reason — just make sure that reason isn’t to make them feel better about themselves by making you feel worse.
  9. You’re worse off with them than you are without them. Your friends should bring out the best in you, not the worst. Are you happy when you’re hanging out with your girls? Do you have a good time? And how do you make other people feel? If your friendship is built on being bitchy to everyone else, then the world would be a much better place if your relationship didn’t exist.
  10. You don’t know why you’re friends. The question is simple — why are you friends? It should be easy to list off the good qualities that make your girls such amazing friends. If you can’t come up with even one good reason you’re friends, maybe you shouldn’t be.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.