You know you should be focused on following your own path, but you often find yourself comparing your life and everything in it to everyone around you. Needless to say, this is a losing game — you’ll always find ways to convince yourself that you’re falling behind in an invisible race and it will make you miserable. If you relate to any of the following, you’ve got a bad case of comparisonitis and need to check yourself.
1. You’re obsessed with what everyone else is doing.
From celebrities and influencers to people you went to high school with, you’re obsessed with checking their social media accounts daily to see what’s happening in their lives. You want to know what they’re up to, how they’re dressed, what they’re doing for work, etc. It seems innocent enough at first, but in the end, you just start feeling bad every time you scroll. Stop measuring yourself against other people — you’re missing out on what makes you great.
2. You’re never completely happy with what you have in life.
You might have a successful career or an amazing relationship, but there’s always something missing. You don’t feel happy because your comparisonitis is making you think of ways your life can be better. It’s never-ending! Meanwhile, you’re missing out on things to be happy about in your life right now.
3. You find constant fault with yourself.
No matter what you do, you always focus on your flaws and totally ignore all the amazing qualities you have. You’re seeing yourself through a negative lens, which is sad because your perception is being thrown off. You’re putting yourself down based on all the qualities or possessions other people have that you don’t. In reality, you should be your number one cheerleader. (P.S. If you notice this tendency is negatively affecting your dating life, check out our sister site, Sweetn. They use science and the power of your own mind to help you overhaul your love life in just a few weeks!)
4. You’re A Failure-Phobe.
You’re always striving to be better because you want to come out on top and you’re terrified of failure. If you don’t win, how can you ever outdo your peers? This is a terrible attitude to have, particularly because you’re missing out on how failure and making mistakes can take you on different paths in life that ultimately help you grow and make you happier. You’re stuck in your ways and letting fear stop you.
5. You Feel Guilty For Not Being As Accomplished As Your Peers.
If you’re always feeling like you’re less valuable than other people, you might feel guilty for not having what it takes (even though you do). Maybe you even engage in negative self-talk and berate yourself for being so unaccomplished in comparison to your peers, but that’s not doing you any favors. It’s just making you more depressed.
6. You Copy Other People.
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Instead of finding your own style and making your own life choices, you’re always copying what other people do, whether that involves how they dress, what car they drive, or what house they buy. This can make you feel like a fraud, which probably intensifies your feelings of guilt. You’re not being true to yourself and it’s obvious.
7. You’re “meh” about your achievements.
You’re always chasing bigger goals to try to keep up with everyone else, but you don’t celebrate your accomplishments as you achieve them. You always feel like they’re not as good as what other people are doing in their lives. So, when people congratulate you, you might brush it off or say, “It could’ve been better.”
8. You constantly feel like you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
If you’re always pushing yourself so hard to be the best, you’re in a constant race with no finish line in sight. It’s so exhausting and means you’re at high risk of burning out because you never stop to take a breath and take stock of what’s really important to you. There’s only so long you can engage in this kind of competition before it overwhelms you.
9. You’re always judging other people.
Your comparison obsession could be making you harshly judgmental of yourself and everyone around you. You’re always critical of what other people do because you’re always thinking of how they can be better. This is really a reflection of yourself and how you judge yourself all the time. You’re projecting your own insecurities on everyone else.
10. You’re way too competitive.
If you’re always comparing yourself to others, you probably compete with them. As a result, you might try to outshine them or have a more successful life so that you can convince yourself you’ve “won.” It’s so draining and makes you seem like you’re obsessed with your ego. People who are truly secure in themselves are too focused on living their own lives to worry about what everyone else is doing.
11. You push people away.
One of the big signs that your comparisonitis is getting out of control is if you’re blocking authentic relationships from forming in your life. Your critical eye could be pushing people away, or it might be that your jealousy and competitive nature could be turning potential friends into rivals.
12. You’re feeling physically unwell for no real reason.
You’re putting so much stress on yourself that it’s only natural you’re feeling unlike yourself. Maybe you’re getting more headaches or are experiencing more anxiety and depression and can’t put a finger on why. These are huge red flags that you’re trying to do too much and you’re sabotaging your own well-being.
13. You’re Flaky.
If you’re always comparing yourself to everyone around you, you’re probably always changing according to what they do. As a result, you might be flaky about your goals or what you want in life because you’re not being true to yourself. You’re allowing others to define your life, instead of being authentic.
14. You Put Other People’s Opinions On A Pedestal.
You’re always striving to get validation from others, especially the people you think you’re competing with. You love the feeling of being the most attractive/smartest/funniest person in the room, and this can make you addicted to attention and praise even though they’re so fleeting.
15. You Can’t Handle Criticism.
You might struggle more with criticism than others because you take it so seriously and you can’t handle being less than perfect. Criticism makes you lose your confidence and can cause you to feel like a big failure. You’re blocking out the opportunity to learn, though! Comparisonitis is causing you to lose sight of what’s important: who you are and what you want!
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