Although being called sweet or friendly can be compliments, there are times when you should reel in your niceness. If your friendless is making people think you’re going to lie down and turn into a doormat or being too nice is causing you to put your career at risk, you’ve got to stop being so friendly. Although as women we’re taught to play nice and be super-friendly from when we’re kids, this is not always the best move. Here are 10 situations when you shouldn’t be too friendly and why.
1. You’re Smiling To Avoid Conflict.
If you’re always being nice in your relationship because you don’t want to cause any conflict, you’re going to be biting down on your tongue until it bleeds. You might be afraid of conflict, but you don’t want your relationship gripes to build up and cause bigger problems – or give you an ulcer because of all the stress you’re keeping trapped in your body when your BF pisses you off.
2. You’re Hit On By Someone You Don’t Like.
You’re out at night by yourself when a guy comes over to you and hits on you. He gives you a creepy vibe and you don’t want to engage with him, but you’re smiling and laughing at his lame jokes. Don’t do that! Now’s not the time to be friendly because it’s giving him the idea that what he’s doing is okay – and it’s not. Be firm and tell him you’re leaving.
3. You’re Too Friendly With Waitstaff.
Disclaimer: you’ve got to be nice to the waitstaff every time because it’s respectful. But, if you’re being overly friendly, it’s a red flag. You might come across as trying too hard to be nice, which is off-putting, both to the waitstaff who has to deal with you and to the people who you’re dining with. If you’re super sweet and complimentary, it comes off as condescending, even if you don’t mean it this way. Try to reel it in a bit.
4. Â You’re Dealing With A Sexist.
If a guy’s a sexist, you shouldn’t have to feel the pressure to be polite or friendly. It’s not always easy to do this, especially if you’re caught off guard and feel awkward. But, it’s better to shut down the sexist comments right away so that the person knows you’re not going to allow them to push your boundaries or make you feel bad. (BTW, if you always end up dating people like this, you may want to check out our sister site, Sweetn. They have some pretty amazing tips and tricks to rejig your love life for the better. You can find them here.)
5. You’ve Got Employees.
If you’re managing a team of employees, it’s great to be approachable and kind, but you shouldn’t be overly friendly. This can make people working under you feel like you’re their bestie instead of someone they should respect and treat professionally. It’ll just cause you problems down the line, such as when people expect you to give them preferential treatment.
6. Your Friend’s Using You.
You might not want to ditch a friend who’s taking advantage of you because there are some good elements in your friendship. Fine, but don’t be too nice to someone who’s always asking you for favors and taking advantage of your kindness. You’re not a  human doormat, okay? Besides, being too friendly to people who take advantage of you can cause you to lack showing yourself that niceness.
7. You’re On A First Date.
When you’re on a first date, reel back the overly friendly comments because this is definitely the wrong time to be too nice. Although you want to be upbeat, positive, and show your kindness, you shouldn’t be too friendly because this can make you seem like you’re ready to please them and keep them happy, while totally neglecting yourself. Um, no. Wait until you know them better, and know they’re not a user, before being super-friendly.
8. You’ve Just Met A New Neighbor Or Friend.
When you meet someone new who seems like they could be your sister from another mother, it’s easy to get caught up in it. But, don’t go over the top with the friendliness because it can be way too much for someone you’ve just met, even if there’s an instant connection. It might make the other person feel like you’re a boundary pusher or desperate.
9. You’ve Got A Boss Who Could Be Your Friend.
Just like you shouldn’t be too friendly with employees, you should be careful when getting too close to your boss. Maybe they’re awesome and you feel like you could be besties outside of the workplace, but tread carefully. You don’t want to be the target of malice because people think you’re the boss’s pet, and you don’t want to come across as unprofessional to others you work with.
10. You’ve Ended Your Relationship.
If your relationship has come to an end, your ex might ask, “Wanna be friends?” While this might be something you can imagine doing in the future, RN it might not be a good idea. Ditto for being too friendly with your ex. It makes it more difficult to process your feelings over the breakup and move on while getting closure. Don’t muddy the waters with a FWB setup, either.
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