You want to be honest and upfront with everyone you meet, but there’s a difference between being friendly and oversharing. Giving people you’ve just met TMI can be overwhelming and off-putting, not to mention it could come back to bite you if you end up telling your business to the wrong person. Before indulging in your blabbermouth tendencies, maybe keep these things to yourself.
1. Your Biggest Insecurities
Per Psychology Today, sharing your insecurities might actually make them worse! You don’t have to share with people that you’re feeling insecure about the way you look on a first date or that you’re having imposter syndrome about your latest work project. Keep this to yourself so you don’t share too much with people who don’t really know or care about you. Save it for your closest buddies who can give you real support.
2. How Much Money You Make
How much money you make is your business — no one needs to know the figures. Ditto for your investments and any other financial data. Sharing it with a colleague or a new person you’re dating, can make you seem braggy or like you’re asking for sympathy. They might even assume you have a hidden agenda! On the other hand, people who ask you about your money are nosy and don’t respect your privacy.
3. Your Family Drama
Maybe your family relationships are filled with toxic conflict. However, other people don’t need to know this, especially if you find it difficult to talk about. You only need to share info about your family if you’re in a serious relationship with someone who wants to meet your loved ones, or with close trusted friends. In this case, it’s the right thing to fill them in so they know what they’re getting into.
4. Your Health Problems
Your health is private. You don’t have to share with friends or strangers that you’re dealing with a specific issue or condition, especially if it makes you feel insecure or you don’t want anyone’s pity. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, like STDs or life-changing conditions that might affect your quality of life. Your partner has the right to know!
5. Your Previous Mistakes
Everyone messes up sometimes, but focusing on your failures will find you getting stuck in the past — and it could seriously impact your mental health, PsychCentral reveals. You don’t have to talk about the mistakes you’ve made in your life with anyone. The important thing is that you’ve grown from them — this is what you should use to define yourself, not the things you’ve gotten wrong.
6. Your Frenemy List
Maybe you have a long list of people you don’t like and don’t want in your life, and that list might be filled with animosity and grievances. You don’t have to share it with others and probably shouldn’t, especially since it makes you come across as negative or a drama magnet. Keep some things to yourself!
7. Your Spiritual Beliefs
What you choose to believe in or how you nourish your spirituality is completely up to you. You should never feel like you have to share your beliefs with other people or allow yourself to be swayed by what they believe in. Anyone who pressures you to share or change your faith is not worth having in your life.
8. Your Childhood Trauma
Maybe you had a difficult upbringing filled with stress and conflict. Of course it can help you to talk about it, but if it’s not with a close friend or partner, maybe save it for your therapist. If you’re sharing this with people you don’t even know, you could be giving them too much info, and you’ll end up feeling like they’re not really acknowledging your deep emotions on the issue.
9. Your Intimate Life
Whether you’re in a committed relationship or not, you don’t have to share your intimate life with anyone – even if they ask. Ditto for the number of partners you’ve had. This is private information that you don’t have to talk about. Besides, how many people you’ve slept with doesn’t matter.
10. Your Sexual Orientation
If you’re unsure of your sexual orientation or are still figuring it out, you don’t have to share this with anyone, even your close friends. It might feel stressful to do so, and maybe you’re just not ready yet. Yes, talking about where your head is at can make you feel less alone, but you shouldn’t feel guilty for keeping it to yourself.
11. Your Crush
You don’t have to tell anyone when you’re crushing on someone, whether it’s the new person at work or someone in your social circle. Crushes are totally normal and even kinda fun. Maybe they’ll turn into something real, or maybe they’ll eventually fade away, as most of them do. Either way, it’s okay if you want to keep your crush to yourself.
12. Your Future Plans
You should be wary of sharing details of your future plans with anyone — you never know who you can and can’t trust, and some people might steal your ideas or rain on your parade with negativity. You don’t need that stress. Focus on your goals and share the news when you’ve achieved success. It’ll feel so much better.
13. Your Friends’ Secrets
You should never share what your friends have told you in confidence, even if a mutual friend makes you feel guilty for keeping it to yourself. What’s said in privacy needs to stay private or you’ll be seen as a fake friend. Don’t destroy your closest relationships by making bad decisions. Plus, as Entrepreneur points out, gossiping creates a toxic environment no one wants to be a part of.
14. Your Fears
Talking about your fears can help you deal with them, but you don’t have to share everything you’re afraid of. It can make you come across as lacking self-confidence or not believing in yourself. To prevent avoiding your fears, which isn’t healthy, write them in a journal or chat with a therapist who’s qualified to help you nip them in the bud.
15. Your Complaints
If you’re having a bad day, you might want to offload on the first person you encounter, but be careful! If you’re bringing a list of complaints to others, you can end up being a draining person people are afraid to ask, “How are you doing?” Besides, rambling on about your complaints fosters a negative energy that brings you down.
