It’s not always easy to accept a compliment. Sometimes it feels awkward, like being put on the spot, or you might feel like you don’t deserve it. Ugh. To deal with the situation, you might try to brush it off, such as by deflecting and quickly complimenting the other person or shutting them down. Talk about rejecting them and making them feel bad for having said something nice. Scrap that and act with grace. Here are 10 ways to accept a compliment without brushing it off or deflecting it.
1. Just Say “Thank You.”
The easiest and most meaningful way to receive a compliment is to thank the person. It couldn’t be simpler! Show your appreciation for their kind words, realizing that it’s not always easy for people to give others praise. You don’t even have to say anything other than, “Thank you.” Phew.
2. Explain Why The Compliment Is Meaningful.
If you want to elaborate after saying “thank you,” you could explain to the person that their compliment means a lot. For example, if someone says, “You’re such a generous person and it’s inspiring,” you could say, “Thank you – it means a lot to hear that because I value generosity in others.” Or, if someone says, “I love how you’ve decorated your apartment,” you could say, “Thanks, that means a lot because I’ve been trying something different.”
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4. Avoid The Temptation To Reciprocate.
It’s sometimes a knee-jerk reaction to throw a compliment back to then person, so the conversation might go something like this: the person says they love your excellent planning and you reply with, “Thanks! I love your creativity.” Although it might be true, reciprocating a compliment can feel insincere. Rather save it for another time.
5. Don’t Interrupt The Person.
If someone’s giving you a compliment, the last thing you should do is cut into their words and reject them or change the subject. For example, if you say, “No, no, no!” or “Okay, but I disagree,” or “Oh, um, do you like the food in this place?” It’s rude and makes the person feel unheard. It’s basically dissing someone who’s being kind to you!
6. Don’t Put Yourself Down.
One of the worst things you could say when you receive a compliment is, “That’s totally not true!” This makes you seem like you lack confidence or that you’re rejecting what the person believes, which isn’t cool. Instead of putting yourself down, you could express surprise at the compliment instead, such as, “Oh, wow! Thank you for saying that.” Always go back to being grateful, that’s the number one rule.
7. Share The Praise (Depending On The Situation)
If you’re being complimented for something your team at work achieved, you could share the praise – but that doesn’t mean you should reject the compliment that’s given to you. So, you could say something like, “Thank you for that – it means a lot to me. I’ll also pass on the compliment to the rest of my team.” Or, “Thank you, I appreciate the compliment, and it was all thanks to our team’s effort.”
8. Don’t Challenge The Compliment.
What can really make receiving a compliment weird is if you challenge the person’s compliment. You might say, “Do you really think that?” or, “I disagree – why do you think that about me?” Yikes. This can make them feel uncomfortable because now they have to explain themselves. They’re being put on the spot, which they didn’t see coming.
9. Notice Your Body Language.
Expressing gratitude and pretending to accept the compliment will fall flat if your body language contradicts what you’re saying. For example, if you’ve said “thank you” but you’re crossing your arms and looking stiff. Make sure your body language is open and receptive, such as by keeping your arms at your sides, smiling, and maintaining eye contact. This will make the other person feel comfortable to talk to you.
10. Move The Conversation Along.
If it’s awkward to accept the compliment and say thanks, you can use the compliment to move the conversation a bit. For example, if someone compliments the short story you wrote, you could thank them and then say something about a new story you’re writing. Or, if someone compliments your hair, you could chat about the new hair salon you found across town. This helps to show kindness for the compliment but without the situation feeling awkward.
11. Don’t Make The Person Feel Stupid.
If you’re always dissing the compliments other people give you, this can make them feel like they’re wrong or stupid for thinking you’re awesome. Woah. Imagine if your partner’s always telling you that you look beautiful and you say, “You’re totally insane – I look disgusting.” Or, if your partner says they love your dark humor and you reply, “I’m the least funny person – you’re just saying that!” Destroying the person’s opinions isn’t cool! Let them express what they believe and be gracious about accepting it.
