If you feel like your significant other is the only one that needs to change to fix your relationship, either you’re with the wrong person or you might be missing something important. Here are some signs that it might be up to you to make the improvements.
- You get upset with your partner a lot. If you find yourself getting mad at your partner daily, it’s probably not the other person’s fault—and it’s a good way to push your significant other away too. If you’re overanalyzing everything, it might mean you need to work on your insecurities. It might even be a good idea to take a break from your relationship to work on yourself first.
- You think you’re too good for your partner. If you’re convinced that you’re better than them and that they’re lucky to be with you, you might want to take a look in the mirror. No one is perfect, including you. If you really think you’re superior, then why are you with that person anyway? You might need to learn some humility for your relationship to flourish.
- Somehow it’s never your fault when you argue. If every disagreement ends with your partner taking all of the blame, it probably means you’re not taking any responsibility for your problems. It’s not statistically possible for one person to be wrong 100% of the time, so try to see things from their perspective. Your relationship is never going to get better if you don’t admit when you’re wrong.
- You’re never the one compromising either. If you find that your partner is always the one making concessions in your relationship and you stubbornly refuse to make any adjustments yourself, it’s probably your fault that your relationship is suffering. It takes two to make a partnership work, so it might be your turn to change.
- You find yourself lying a lot. If you have to lie to your partner about anything, even small things, you’re going to sabotage your relationship. You can’t grow together as a couple if you never tell the truth. For instance, your relationship won’t get better if you lie about feeling angry or upset about something they did. Bring it up to them, but don’t make it seem like they’re always at fault either.
- Your or your partner’s friends have concerns. If your friends are telling you that you might be hurting your relationship, don’t ignore them because they most likely have a point. If your partner’s friends are also voicing negative opinions about you and are worried your significant other will get hurt, it might be worth at least considering that they might be right.
- You only care about what you want. For example, you always go out to eat at your favorite restaurant, not your partner’s. Or, you only hang out with your friends. If you only ever do things with your significant other that you want to do, it probably means you’re not thinking about the other person enough. Start paying more attention to what your partner wants and what you can do to be better. It could drastically improve things.
- Your partner is extremely unhappy. If they’re always sad around you or seem to avoid spending time with you, and there’s no other obvious reason for them to be feeling that way, it probably has to do with you. There might be something you can do to fix it though. Try talking to them about it to see what you can do differently. Just the fact that you’re willing to take some responsibility will go a long way.
- Your partner seems afraid to talk to you. If your partner never talks about their feelings with you, there may be a good reason why and it’s not because you’re perfect. It more likely means that they’re terrified to bring anything up because you never take any accountability. It could be time to be more aware of yourself and figure out what you can do to make things better.
- You also have trouble with your other relationships. Maybe you have a habit of losing friendships or alienating your family members. Or perhaps you’re always in a fight with at least one person in your life. It might mean you’re the person who has the problem. Try to be a little less narcissistic and work on improving yourself. Your partner obviously isn’t perfect either, but you can only control the way you act. It might surprise you how much your relationship will benefit from a little bit of self-reflection.