Whether you date like it’s your career or go on a handful of dates every once in a while, you know that sinking feeling you get when you realize your date is not going to result in a happily ever after. While every date is pretty unique, there are a few common factors. Here are the 10 stages of a disappointing date we’ve all been through at some point.
- You and your butterflies arrive early. There you are, 10 to 15 minutes early, grabbing a good table at the bar. Your stomach is in knots and you’re trying and failing to not be nervous. It doesn’t matter how many bad dates you go on – you always get your hopes up and can’t stop how anxious you feel. You may even have popped an Imodium to quell the nerves, if you’re picking up what we’re putting down.
- Your date says “hey” and nothing else. Here’s a massive pet peeve. When your date finally gets there, he says hi, sits down, and stares at you. What is he waiting for? Why doesn’t he start an interesting conversation? It’s like he’s expecting to be entertained or for you to feel overwhelmed by his mere presence. Talk about awkward.
- He makes Weird Comment #1. Over the course of a disappointing date, the guy you’re out with is going to make a few strange comments. It’s like a law or something. When he says the first weird thing – it could be an anti-marriage rant or a vague insult about your career – your stomach drops. The high hopes you had for the evening are quickly plummeting.
- You realize you’re here yet again. Unfortunately, the more dates you go on, the more bad dates you go on. And the more alike all these evenings start to seem. Here we go again, you think at this point. You start wondering why it’s so hard to find a good man (or even a decent one) when your friends seem to be doing just fine in the dating world.
- You crack a few jokes. You’re desperate to inject some humor into the situation, so you start laughing and joking about anything you can think of. Your date doesn’t even crack a smile in return. Or, he takes it as a cue to tell some off-color “joke” that’s really unfunny and very offensive. Yikes.
- Wine is your BFF. By now, you know there is absolutely no saving the evening. It’s a horrible date and that’s the end of it. So you start drinking wine like it’s going out of style. It’s the only way to survive. You start to lose count of the number of glasses you’ve ordered, but you know what? You don’t even care. In fact, you’re tempted to order a bottle just to get through the rest of the evening.
- You make your grand escape. This is one of the most desperate stages of a disappointing date. You escape… to the bathroom, that is. It’s the only way to start prepping for your major exit. You text your best friends “HELP” and then realize that might be a bit dramatic, but you don’t really care. You pray that your 911 texting code won’t fall on deaf ears.
- The date gets even more awkward. When you sit down at the table again, your date seems to realize that things aren’t going well at all. Usually, he’ll overcompensate by acting like an even bigger jerk. Lucky you. However, if he’s a bit sad, he might ask you if you don’t like him directly, putting you in a really bad situation. He doesn’t seem all that into you either, so what are you even doing?
- You say you have to work early in the a.m. It doesn’t matter if tomorrow is Saturday or Sunday. You say this with such conviction that you even believe it yourself. And hey, maybe it’s true. Either way, even your date seems grateful for the way out.
- You make a run for it. Not literally, but kind of. As soon as the bill has been paid and you’re standing outside the bar with your awkward date, you smile and lie that it was nice to meet them. And then you’re gone. You can’t wait to curl up on your couch with some old episodes of “Sex and the City.” At least Carrie gets you.
