The 10 Stages Of A Disappointing Date

Whether you date like it’s your career or go on a handful of dates every once in a while, you know that sinking feeling you get when you realize your date is not going to result in a happily ever after. While every date is pretty unique, there are a few common factors. Here are the 10 stages of a disappointing date:

  1. You and your butterflies arrive early. There you are, 10-15 minutes early, grabbing a good table at the bar. Your stomach is in knots and you’re trying and failing to not be nervous. It doesn’t matter how many bad dates you go on – you always get your hopes up and can’t stop how anxious you feel.
  2. Your date says “hey” and nothing else. Here’s a massive pet peeve: when your date finally gets there, says hi, sits down, and stares at you. What is he waiting for? Why doesn’t he start an interesting conversation?
  3. He makes Weird Comment #1. Over the course of a disappointing date, the guy you’re with is going to make a few strange comments. It’s like a law or something. When he says the first weird thing – it could be an anti-marriage rant or a vague insult about your career – your stomach drops.
  4. You realize you’re here yet again. Unfortunately, the more dates you go on, the more bad dates you go on, too. And the more alike all these evenings start to seem. Here we go again, you think at this point. You start wondering why it’s so hard for you to meet decent people when that one friend never has a bad date. You wonder if she’s lying.
  5. You crack a few jokes. You’re desperate to inject some humor into the situation so you start laughing and joking about anything you can think of. Your date doesn’t even crack a smile in return.
  6. Wine is your BFF. By now, you know there is absolutely no saving the evening. It’s a horrible date and that’s the end of it. So you start drinking wine like it’s going out of style. It’s the only way to survive.
  7. You make your grand escape. To the bathroom, that is. It’s the only way to start prepping for your major exit. You text your best friends “HELP” and then realize that might be a bit dramatic. But you don’t really care.
  8. The date gets even more awkward. When you sit down at the table again, your date seems to realize that things aren’t going well at all. Usually he’ll overcompensate by acting like an even bigger jerk. Lucky you.
  9. You say you have to work early in the a.m. It doesn’t matter if tomorrow is Saturday or Sunday. You say this with such conviction that you even believe yourself.
  10. You make a run for it. Not literally. But kind of. As soon as the bill has been paid and you’re standing outside the bar with your awkward date, you smile and lie that it was nice to meet them. And then you’re gone. You can’t wait to curl up on your couch with some old episodes of Sex and the City. At least Carrie gets you.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor. She shares gluten-free, dairy-free recipes and personal stories on her food blog, ahealthystory.com. She loves coffee, barre classes and pop culture.