All good boyfriends have one thing in common: they’re emotionally supportive. When you have a teammate in life —someone who stands beside you to help get you through the ups and downs— you can take on the world, but when you’re with a partner who’s habitually withdrawn, you can feel like you’re carrying the weight of life (and the relationship) alone.
He minimizes your feelings. When something awful happens, he pipes in with a ‘buck up’ type of response from behind his cellphone. When he does this, he might as well be saying he doesn’t care about your problems, because if he did, he wouldn’t have you questioning the validity of what you’re feeling by acting as though you’re making mountains over molehills.
He withholds physical intimacy. A partner that lacks the capacity to support you emotionally will show it with his actions, or lack thereof. If his hugs, if there are any at all, mimic more of pat on the back than a loving embrace and your physical intimacy is downright nonexistent, you can bet he’s not going out of his way to make you feel better when you’re down.
He doesn’t challenge you. If he’s the type to avoid disagreements like the plague, he’s not going to be able to help you become the best version of yourself emotionally. Support doesn’t always come in a pretty package, and if he couldn’t care less to argue with you, he doesn’t care enough.
He shows no interest in your goals. When you tell him that you finally got around to finishing that DIY project and his response is lacklustre, he really couldn’t care less. It may not be lifetime achievement, but it’s something you worked hard on and are proud of and he should be proud of you, too.
He doesn’t care about living life to the fullest. When you feel unmotivated and lazy, he doesn’t do a thing to pick you up and get you going. It’s not his job to keep you driven, but if he’s all too happy with sitting around and wasting your lives watching Netflix, he’s not going to be a good partner when it comes to living the happiest life you can.
Every time you have a valid complaint, he just says it could be worse. There’s a difference between being a complainer and complaining about something that’s really crappy. If every time you voice an opinion on something that isn’t working for you he acts as though you’re being dramatic, he’s just not there for you like he should be.
When you cry, he’s nowhere to be found. Sometimes in life, a woman needs to have a good cry session. It happens to the best of us and can even be rehabilitating. If he bolts every time you shed a tear, he’s just not the type of guy you can rely on for emotional support.
Good things don’t phase him, either. You land a promotion at work or finally save up enough money to buy the car you’ve been looking at for months and he’s about as excited as a potato. When he doesn’t share your excitement for things, it can really show his true colors, and they’re painted IDGAF.
He’s always comparing. When you’re venting to him about a bad day, he appears to be listening, but when it comes time to respond, he just points out how much worse his was. This may seem like a give and take conversation, but if he brings up his own crap every time you try to talk about yourself, he’s not an emotional support.
He doesn’t practice active listening. Everybody can get distracted from time to time, but when he’s constantly forgetting things you’ve told him, he isn’t really listening to anything you have to say. And when he doesn’t listen, he doesn’t give a damn.
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