Getting into a relationship is fun, exciting, and full of the unknown. It can be so easy to get caught up in the moment and want to spend days on end with your new partner, but if he’s the only thing that makes you happy, you’re guaranteed to run into these problems eventually:
- You’ll also have a new source for sorrow. A guy that supplies your sunshine will also make your life absolute misery when that light is dimmed. It may not necessarily be a toxic relationship, but if he’s down in the dumps, you may start to be unhappy as well. It’s times like these to remember that empathy is necessary, but so is being able to remember all the other amazing parts of your own life.
- You’ll always feel like something is missing. You may not even be able to pinpoint this, but it’ll feel like a small hole in your heart. Even when you’re at your happiest around him, something won’t feel right and you just won’t be able to figure out what it is. When you base your life on someone else, you don’t even realize that you’re consistently putting your own wants and needs last.
- You’ll start to overanalyze everything. Basing your happiness on your partner’s mood also means you’ll constantly be questioning everything he does and says. If he doesn’t want to get dinner after work, he’s not necessarily being a jerk (unless it happens frequently) — it just might mean he wants some space. If your happiness is reliant upon seeing him, not only will your day be ruined, but you’ll also start to think the worst. You’ll envision an end to your relationship, and suddenly you’ll be crying on your bed for no real reason at all.
- You’ll accidentally be placing pressure on him. Even if you don’t mean to be this way, your boyfriend is going to feel the constant pressure you place on him to keep you in good spirits. He’ll feel exhausted from trying to keep himself, you, and your relationship in good standing, and that’s just way too much for one person to handle.
- You’ll start to distance people. As your new source of happiness is growing, you might start to leave other people behind — people that used to also be lights in your life. You’ll start to blow off your friends and family all because you want to spend as much time as you can with your new guy. They’ll excuse your behavior at first and fight for you, but eventually even the most loyal of friends will start to drift away because they’re hurt by your behavior.
- You’ll start to realize your happiness is short-lived. After your dates or even long nights together, you’ll feel empty when you’re apart. You’ll spend hours contemplating why you feel down, but when you spend time with him. you’ll think it must have just been a fluke. It wasn’t a fluke the first ten time, and 100 times later it still isn’t. A healthy relationship doesn’t make you dependent on another person.
- You’ll lose sight of what matters to you. One day you’ll wake up and realize you haven’t only lost your own source of happiness, but also your ability to have dreams and goals for yourself. When you rely on someone else to supply your happiness, you’re also relying on their hopes and dreams in order to fuel your life. Never lose sight of your own goals and values.
- Your relationship will get rocky real fast. You’re going to start having relationship problems only a few weeks in. He’ll start to feel suffocated and you’ll feel misunderstood — it’s quite the recipe for disaster, and neither of you will be able to find middle ground because you’ll both think you’re right.
- You’ll forget your values. You’ll start just wanting your guy to be happy rather than holding true to your own thoughts and values. You’ll start to appease him just to make sure that his light is shining as brightly as possible, even if it means agreeing with him on something you really disagree with. Suddenly you’re not only afraid of arguments and disagreements, but also of any sort of difference in opinion — differences which are completely normal.
- You’ll never make it work. A relationship solely based around one partner’s happiness is doomed from the moment this starts. You may even know it deep down even if you find yourself fighting to stay in it. Eventually this relationship will run its course, but hopefully you’ll have learned never to place your own happiness in the hands of another individual. After all, self love is the best kind of love.
