The dating world is filled with so-called rules about how we should all behave. The biggest stereotypes tend to unfairly describe girls and claim that we’re all alike and all do the same or annoying things. That, to be honest, is both nuts and annoying. Our society celebrates individuality and uniqueness and yet here we are. Here are 10 assumptions guys make about women that are completely and utterly wrong (for the most part).
- We’re super boring if we order a salad. How many times have you heard that guys like girls who eat and so you should chow down on a massive pile of hot wings on your first date? I’m not saying that you should order a tiny green salad and nothing else and call that dinner – that’s definitely not a healthy way to live. But if you enjoy your healthy lifestyle and want to order a giant, meal-sized salad, why not? It doesn’t make you a less interesting person. It just means that you felt like something healthy. The next time a guy judges you for your salad love, tell him that last night you ate a bacon cheeseburger with a double order of fries (it happens).
- We’re going to be insanely clingy if we text you. Texting is a real double-edged sword and we’re super careful about how we text someone when we’re just starting to date them. Trust us, we don’t want to come off as clingy or desperate, and you can bet that we’ve put a lot of careful thought into the text we send you. It seems casual and super short for a reason, so assuming that we’re going to stifle your freedom because we texted you to say we had a great time or we just wanted to see how your day is going is silly. The guys I’ve dated were actually the ones who texted me all the time instead of the other way around, anyway.
- We want to spend every single second with you. We like you, we promise, but you don’t have to feel like you will never have a minute of alone time now that we’re together. We have our own careers, friends and interests, and the last thing we want is to step out of our own lives and take up residence in yours.
- If we invite you to meet our friends, we want a ring immediately. There’s something about introducing a guy to your friends that seems to mean so much more than if you asked him to dinner at your parents’ house. It signals things are getting serious because you like him enough to subject him to your BFFs and all their (lovable) craziness. But it just means we see you as more than a casual thing, not that we’re ready for marriage just yet.
- We’re controlling if we pick the place for dinner/drinks/etc. It’s 2015 and it’s seriously no big deal for a girl to ask a guy out. But some guys are old-fashioned and want to be the ones to do everything. That would be fine, except after 20 minutes of you saying “I don’t know, what do you want to do tonight?” we just want to have a plan already so we can go out. We might be a little impatient, but we’re not controlling.
- If we look/dress/act a certain way, we’re sleeping with you tonight. This is one of those impossible situations that we sometimes find ourselves in on a first date. We thought we were just wearing a cute dress and having a drink at our go-to bar. We didn’t realize that meant something else to you. We just want to meet you and see if we actually like you and that you’re not a nuts person. Some of us are into first date sex and that’s totally cool but not all of us are.
- We want a traditional timeline. Some girls want it all and they want it all within a certain amount of time, from moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, getting pregnant, and so on. Others want only some of it or even none of it. We might want to take things slow for a number of reasons, so before you start freaking out about commitment, know that we might be freaking out about it, too.
- We’re into cheesy romance (like flowers and chocolate). It’s like every guy has seen too many bad rom-coms. While gifts on Valentine’s Day can be sweet, it’s not that every single one of us even likes those material things. But we like the thoughts and emotions behind the flowers and candy. So show us you care in a less silly way.
- We’re going to be mad if you hang with your buddies. Groan. We actually want you to have friends. It’s okay.
- Anything at all. If you want to know something about us, ask. Making assumptions is weird and confusing, especially if we’ve just met you. We’re not robots and we’re all pretty different. Some people just seem so used to making judgments that they don’t even realize that they make zero sense, like the guy who said to me, “Red wine on a Tuesday” on a first date and when I asked what that meant he had no answer.
If guys would stop making ridiculous, outdated assumptions about girls, the dating world would be a much better place. And who doesn’t want that?
