My best girlfriends are all rockstars. Each one is beautiful, kind, brilliant, professionally driven, dynamic and successful. Together, we’re what I like to call, a “power circle.” Although I’d never change these relationships for the world, I’ve realized that there are positive and negatives to surrounding myself with such bad bitches. Here’s my experience:
Everyone has an opinion. If you’re in a power circle like me, then you know that a strong group of women is also very outspoken and probably informed on a variety of topics. From politics and fashion to investment strategies, pop culture and relationship advice—everyone in my group of friends has an opinion about something. On the one hand, it’s nice because I can usually trust that what my friends are saying is informed and considerate. However, it can get super annoying because everyone acts like the authority on any given issue at some point, including me. Learning to keep my opinion to myself sometimes has ultimately made me a better friend.
Your conversations are thoughtful, honest and raw. One thing I love about my group is that our conversations are quality AF. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I need to just live life on the surface, but when I need to get in my feelings, the girls in this group will take me there. We all come from different walks of life but none of us are afraid to be real with each other. Sure, sometimes it’s painful or uncomfortable to hear the real down home truth but I’ve learned to feel super grateful to have friends who are willing to have the intense conversations with me.
Your professional network is stacked. My group of friends includes two doctors, two lawyers, a financial consultant, and a PhD. If I ever need professional advice or if I need to tap into my professional network for work related purposes, often times I’ll call up some of my friends first to find out who they know. More and more women are putting their professional networks to use because we’re finally at a time where more women are in charge. It’s a nice perk!
You don’t have to look far for a role model. When you’re in a power squad, one of the best things is having role models who are only one call or text away. I look to my friends for guidance and inspiration but I also imitate the qualities that I like about them. Being able to look up to my friends is special and something that I love about them.
You share important values. At the core of my group of friends is a pretty solid value system. Sure some of us differ on some things, but for the most part, we have a similar moral and ethical code. In my experience, this is really beneficial to the fabric of the group. Having the same values helps create trust and trust deepens friendships.
Everyone thinks she’s Beyonce, so it occasionally gets competitive. No shade to Kelly or Michelle, but in this group, everyone is Beyonce—or at least everyone thinks she’s the Beyonce. So what happens? Well, naturally it gets competitive sometimes. At some point, each of us wants the spotlight, which can be pretty detrimental to our friendships if we start competing with each other. At the same time, that level of self-confidence is awesome. We ignite each other’s self-belief and embrace each other’s fierceness. It’s a double-edged sword.
The pressure is on to measure up with each other. Along the same lines, the pressure to keep up with each other can be a little taxing. For instance, when one of my friends announced that she and her boyfriend had talked about ring shopping, I immediately started to compare my own relationship to hers, only to feel really foolish when I realized she was about two plus years deep into her relationship and I was only six months into mine. I needed to chill, so I did. Nonetheless, the pressure is real.
Sometimes, you need to take a break from the group and just focus on each individual relationship. Like any great thing, sometimes you gotta take it in moderation. You’ve probably realized by now that I think being in a power circle can be pretty exhausting at times. I’ve found that even though I love hanging out with the group, it’s just as important for me to work on my individual relationships with each of my friends. When I feel like the group is just too overwhelming for me, I like to either step out of the circle completely for a hot second or focus my attention on one or two friends. In fact, we all do that sometimes which I feel is super healthy.
Everyone is busy, so it’s hard to find time for each other. I think the biggest thing that sucks about being in a power circle is that everyone is really busy and we live all over the country, so it can be hard to coordinate our lives. Sometimes I’ll go weeks without seeing a few of the ladies in the group. We try to keep up through text, email, and social media but it’s not always easy. Knowing that any one of us is only a phone call, text, or FaceTime away when we need each other keeps this group together.
You realize it’s more of a blessing than a curse. At the end of the day, I’m blessed to be surrounded by an awesome group of friends. I’m grateful for the conversations, the laughter, the support and the energy of this power circle. Great friendships are hard to come by and even harder to keep. I know that this squad will have my back through everything. I know they’ll all be in the wedding that I hope to have one day. Even though it can get a little competitive sometimes, I’m confident that these ladies will be on my side for life.
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