I loved my partner but I also had larger goals I wanted to accomplish in my career and at a certain point, I had to choose whether to sacrifice my professional ambition with my personal relationship. I chose my job over love and surprisingly I don’t regret it.
I told him about my work ethic and passion before we even got together. I was dedicating most of my time to my career when we got together and I was unapologetic about it. It’s not that I didn’t care about his feelings of neglect, but I made it very clear before we pursued the relationship that my time was scarce and my professional passion was at an all-time high.
I gave him as much of my time and attention as I could but it still wasn’t enough. I cleared as much time in my hectic schedule as I could for my partner, but at the same time, I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my work productivity for the sake of the relationship. I was always trying to find a healthy balance, I really was, but in the end, he wasn’t happy with how little time he felt he was getting in comparison to my job.
My motivations weren’t entirely selfish—I have a daughter to provide for. As much as I enjoyed being with him, I wouldn’t jeopardize the ability to provide for my daughter or myself financially even for a good relationship. If I’d really considered him to be “The One,” I might have felt differently, but the way he constantly found a way to make my career an issue, the more I knew that wasn’t the case. I’m a true believer that what’s meant to be will be, so I had to weigh the pros and cons of the situation and at the end of the day, my the importance of my career far outweighed my relationship.
The struggles of my relationship were killing my creativity. We started to disagree on a lot of things because we weren’t on the same page. This literally killed me creatively, and I need my creativity to thrive! When I started feeling so stressed that my productivity suffered, I knew something needed to change. I believe that you have to learn to communicate your issues effectively in order to find reasonable solutions in life. I tried to talk to my ex about it, but he wasn’t receptive. He couldn’t see that the awful state of our relationship was causing me to go into a creative block, which in turn was putting my career at risk.
I worked hard to get where I am—why should I give that up? I’ll be damned if I throw away the years of blood, sweat, wine, and tears that it took me to reach the level of success I’m at now. It might sound harsh, but I really can’t think of too many things worth giving up on my career for, especially not a guy. I wanted to be with someone who understood what it took me to get where I am and more importantly, who was supportive of my future potential. I wanted someone to push me towards limitless greatness, not someone who thought I made it far enough to be satisfied.
My career made me happier than my relationship. I will say that in the early stages of our relationship, things were great and I was really happy to be with such a good guy. The truth of the matter was that I needed to be with someone who is used to being with a career-driven woman. I needed someone who could understand and appreciate the time and dedication it took for me to achieve my dreams and goals. I needed someone who could understand that I have to invest the time and energy now so that I can spend time doing whatever I want later in life. When I realized he didn’t get that, I lost my desire to be with him.
My career comes with guarantees; my relationship didn’t. At the end of the day, I can’t push my passion or my career to the side for a man who isn’t sure if he’s going to spend his life with me or not. That might sound crazy to some, but I know what I want out of life and I won’t compromise that. I owe it to myself to work hard for everything I want in life, but that means I have to prioritize. Being a boyfriend doesn’t get you the same privileges that being a fiancé or husband will. That’s just a fact.
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