Are you stuck in an endless, vicious cycle of dating one loser after another? Sometimes it just seems like there aren’t any decent guys left on the planet, but don’t worry—there are. Fortunately, there’s an easy way to weed out the douchebags from the very first date. Here’s how you know you’ve found a good one:
He actually shows up on time. The very first indicator of whether or not a guy is good is his punctuality. No kidding. Things happen, that much is true. I’m not going to sit here and claim that I’m always on time for everything, but if a guy is really interested in you, he’s going to make a point to show up to your date on time. Awful guys, on the other hand, will probably be late and use a bogus excuse like traffic… at lunchtime.
He absorbs what you’re saying rather than making you feel like you’re talking to a brick wall. If you’ve been seeing a lot of awful guys, you might not even remember what it’s like to have a guy actually hear what you say—you know they just can’t pay attention during a conversation. Whether they’re checking out your waitress, checking you out, or talking over you, they’re simply not listening. It’s a good sign if your date respects you enough to let you get through a freakin’ sentence.
He makes an effort. A good guy is going to want to get to know you, so he’ll want to make an effort to learn some of your traits. He’ll probably ask questions about your work or your family. An awful guy might ask you questions but there’s no guaranteeing that it won’t be about your underwear.
He’s nice to the server. This is a biggie. I should clarify that being nice to the server does not mean FLIRTING with the server, but he’s not a jerk either. He doesn’t make unnecessary complaints, doesn’t skimp on the tip, and is respectful. Awful guys tend to do all of the above.
He doesn’t judge what you order (or don’t order). Any other ladies get stressed about what to order on a date? Self-conscious about scarfing down a burger and fries? What if you’re not that hungry and just feel like ordering a salad? You should be able to order whatever you want without worrying about his opinion. An awful guy might be judgmental, silently or otherwise, but a good guy has better things to think about, like how much he’s into you.
He offers to pay. Of course you can pay for your own meal, but isn’t it nice when your date at least offers? He’ll get bonus points if he acknowledges the fact that you can take care of yourself and still asks if it would be okay to pay. I don’t know why but awful guys tend to be stingy guys. They don’t offer to pay for your meal and are more likely to split the bill. Even worse, you might date an exceptional loser who expects you to pay for him. Run from that guy. Seriously, run.
He respects your boundaries instead of pushing them. Maybe you want him to come back to your apartment—then again, maybe you don’t. If you haven’t offered him a nightcap, how does he react? Does he press the issue? It may be flattering at first but begging isn’t cute. Worse than that, it’s totally disrespectful of your boundaries. Good guys just won’t do that.
He mentions going out again. While it is totally possible that you could go on a date with a good guy but not the right guy, most guys of the good variety will be willing to see this through. Maybe you both got off on the wrong foot but ended on a good note. Good guys believe in second chances and so should you! If you didn’t have any mishaps and your date went well enough, a good guy is almost guaranteed to bring up seeing you again. This doesn’t mean you need to immediately make plans, but isn’t it nice to know he’s already considering it?
He follows up when the night is over. The awkward waiting game that happens after a date can drive a person crazy. Should you call? Should he? Maybe you should send a text? Maybe he should? And around and around we go. Chances are, an awful guy isn’t going to follow up and if he does, it’s going to be on his terms and probably not in a timely fashion. A good guy may be leery of coming on too strong but more often than not, he’ll at least send a text the following day.
He actually responds when you reach out. If you don’t feel like playing the annoying follow-up game, feel free to text your date first—right away if you want. Who cares? Let him know how you enjoyed the date. Tell him what’s on your mind. His response to your text can mean just as much as him following up. Awful guys tend to respond late or not at all. This is a super important step in weeding out the losers!
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