10 Things People Accuse Strong, Assertive Woman Of That Just Aren’t True

We’re strong, smart, we know what we want and we’re not afraid to go after it. We’re relentless in our pursuit of what we deserve in life, and because of that, we’re often misunderstood and mislabeled in the worst possible ways. Here are some of the worst, most ridiculous things people tend to think about assertive women and why they’re BS:

  1. We’re awful bitches. We don’t really get why assertiveness has become synonymous with bitchiness. Strong, assertive women are upfront and unafraid — that doesn’t make us heartless, rude, or any of the other insults that are thrown our way. There’s a difference between being a bitch and being self-assured. It’s a shame more people don’t know it.
  2. We’re super judgmental. Apparently because we’re confident and bold, we judge everyone who isn’t like us… except that’s totally not the case. We know what we want and we go after it, and frankly we’re too busy doing that to worry about what decisions everyone else is making. We march to the beat of our own drums and believe everyone else should be able to, as well. No judgment here.
  3. We only want to get ahead. Just because we work hard doesn’t mean we don’t know how to play hard too. Yeah, we bust our asses to get where we want to be in life, but we also like to relax, go on vacation, have Netflix binge sessions, etc. In other words, there’s more to us than our assertiveness. We’d go crazy if there wasn’t.
  4. We don’t care about other people. Assertive women have goals, yes, and we push ourselves really hard to get what we want. That doesn’t mean we’ll step on other people to get there. We love and value our friends and family and we’re secure enough in ourselves that we know there’s more than enough room for everyone to succeed.
  5. We don’t listen. Obviously we value our own opinions so highly that we don’t care what anyone else has to say, right? WRONG. Assertive women are usually smart women, and we know that we’re are only as strong as those we surround ourselves with. Listening to other people is one of the best ways to learn and to get ahead, so you’d better believe we’re listening to EVERYTHING that goes on around us. That’s how we learn and improve.
  6. We always wear the pants. Just because we’re strong and outspoken doesn’t mean we insist on being in charge of all of our relationships. We don’t always have to be dominant, but we do know when tos tand up for ourselves and what we deserve. A smart guy recognizes what a prize he has in us and doesn’t mind if we want to take charge sometimes. Even better, he’ll recognize when we DON’T want to be the boss.
  7. We hate other women. We hate this stereotype. Assertive women are not women haters! No human being likes every single person on earth, but that doesn’t mean we hate all women. We have standards for the people in our lives just like everyone else, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love, support and encourage our fellow ladies to be their amazing selves.
  8. Our standards are impossibly high. Assertive women usually set ambitious goals, dream big, and work hard. However, we also like achievements, and therefore we like setting standards that are high but that can be met. We’re realistic in every sense of the word.
  9. We’re pushy. Assertive and pushy aren’t synonyms either. Assertive is clear, concise, and direct; this only gets repeated if necessary. Pushy is annoying and way too frequent. Most people these days are pushovers and therefore think that assertive women are pushy because we’re used to being taken advantage of and pushed. We say these other folks need to get some backbone.
  10. We’re fakeWhy do people think that a woman that asserts herself is a fake? Is it because we’re stuck in a time warp where women are the lesser sex and don’t speak up? WTF kind of time are we living in here, people? Assertive women may not always be assertive, but that doesn’t mean it’s fake when we are.
C. is an aspiring yogi and Ph.D student who loves her dogs, bright lipstick and to travel. Find her on IG @drparko121314