You definitely need to actually like the man you’re dating. If you think he’s decent, but that he’d be better if he lost a little weight or got a better job, then you should look for someone else. It’ll be easier to find a new man than to change the one you’re dating. That’s why you should never even try to change these things about your partner:
If you wish your man was a little skinnier or would bulk up a little, telling him to exercise will only make him angry. If he’s comfortable with himself, then you should be, too. After all, you should love your partner just the way he is.
His bad habits.
If you can’t stand his alcoholism, leave him. He’s not going to change unless he wants to change, which means you won’t be able to help him. You don’t want him to bring you down with him, so unless he’s willing to work on himself, you shouldn’t spend any more time with him.
His familial relationships.
If he’s close with his mother, that’s not going to change. You should be happy that he has a healthy relationship with her. If you try to tear him apart from her instead, then your plan could backfire and you could end up getting dumped.
His love of animals.
If he owns a cat you can’t stand, waiting for it to pass away isn’t going to do you any good. If he’s an animal lover, he’ll just get another one after the first one is out of his life. So if you hate the idea of animals running around your house, you should find someone new.
His group of friends.
If you hate his friends, you could concoct some sort of plan to get them out of his life. Of course, when he makes new friends, they’ll act just like his old friends did. He’ll gravitate toward the same type of people, because they’re the ones he gets along with the best.
If he loves to play hockey, you can’t take that away from him. Don’t you want him to be happy? If he has a hobby that you aren’t a fan of, you have to let him enjoy it, even if you hate being forced to watch his games.
If he’s always wanted to have children, you can’t change his mind about it. Having kids is a major life decision that he probably started thinking about when he was a kid himself. You don’t want to talk him out of something that would make him happy.
It doesn’t matter if you replace all of the junk food in the fridge with vegetables. When he goes out with his friends, he’s still going to snack on their stash of cookies. Just because you can control what goes in the kitchen doesn’t mean you can control what goes in his stomach.
If he loves his job, you can’t expect him to find a new one. Some people believe that their passion is more important than the money they make. If you can’t support your partner’s decision to do what he loves, then you two probably shouldn’t have started dating in the first place.
His sex drive.
If your man wants sex more often than you’re willing to have it, that’s fine. Of course, he’s going to end up masturbating when you’re not in the mood. It’s something that you can’t change, so you’ll have to get used to it.
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