Single women have so much freedom, so how dare I even hint that my status requires certain sacrifices? Whether or not we like to admit it, the truth is that rolling solo does have its drawbacks.
- We sacrifice the opportunity to have a family. I’m not a traditionalist, but I’ve always maintained this one belief about raising kids: I didn’t want to do it without a husband. There are so many wonderful women who are successful single mothers, whether by choice or not, but I always knew that wasn’t an option for me. The longer I stay unmarried, the smaller that window of possibility to reproduce becomes.
- We struggle with maintaining a proper work-life balance. I used to believe that because I didn’t have a family to look after, I should willingly pour all of that remaining energy into my career. I would work every holiday and volunteer for weekend and overnight shifts because I had no other responsibilities outside of work. I actually felt a bit guilty on those rare occasions that I couldn’t cover a shift for a co-worker who was married with kids, but everyone needs a break. While I still struggle with this from time to time, I have learned that my ultimate responsibility as a single woman is to myself and my health.
- We come home to an empty house every night. I’ve touted this as a benefit of being single for years and I still view it that way, but there are times when even I’d welcome having a husband waiting for me at home every night (or at least on those nights when I’ve had a bad day). Having the ability to vent with a life-partner is very therapeutic. Single women often miss out on that opportunity and must find other ways to “exhale” at the end of a long day.
- We have no help getting dressed. I used to joke around that I wanted to come out with a clothing line geared towards single women. There’d be no back zippers or buttons and all jewelry would easily slip on and off. I can’t count the number of times I’ve put a dress back in the closet just because I couldn’t get the zipper up by myself. That struggle gets real when trying to remove a tight dress at night. Single women know exactly what it feels like to have a dress stuck midway up with your arms in the air. You’re left thinking, “I could die like this and no one will know.” Your options? Pull the dress back down and call someone for help or grab the nearest pair of scissors. It’s a silly sacrifice, but a problem nonetheless.
- Instead of Mr. Right, we have Mr. Right Now. There’s no consistency in our relationships because they can be here today and gone tomorrow. It’s the reality of living life as a single woman. While I love having options, there is something comforting about knowing your significant other will be there through thick and thin. Single women don’t have that benefit.
- We deal with other people’s negative perception of us. Our world has come a long way in erasing the stereotypes of the past, but there are still people out there who believe there’s something wrong with you if you’re still single at a certain age. I no longer explain my situation to others cause frankly, it’s none of their business. Still, that doesn’t stop people from asking, which can be extremely annoying.
- We miss out on mastering the art of compromise. This has become a glaring issue for me the older I get. That’s because I make my own rules. I do realize that life isn’t always about having things my way. The problem is that I don’t get as much practice in those areas as I would if I were married.
- We lose the value of some friendships. I’ve had friends grow up, get married, and have children, and while our friendship doesn’t end, it definitely changes the dynamic. We no longer share the same opinions and values. Marriage and children will change your perspective and that doesn’t always have a positive outcome on us single gals.
- We miss out on long-lasting intimacy. Marriage is intended to last forever. This means married woman have life-long partners and friends in their husbands. For single women, that intimacy often only lasts for a season. We establish a closeness with someone. Something happens, and that relationship ends. We then find ourselves starting over with the next person. It’s like a never-ending cycle.
- We sacrifice our happily ever after. I really hate that phrase but here’s what I mean. No matter how content and happy I am right now, if I never get married, I’ll always question whether or not I missed out on an even greater life. I don’t think one life is better than the other, but how can I really be sure if I’ve never experienced both to accurately compare?
