Dating has become even harder as a millennial and it often feels like we’re in the midst of a dating apocalypse. With today’s advances in technology, we’ve been able to become choosier than ever when it comes to finding love. Here’s why:
- We have more to compare to. Social media is easily the biggest game changer to dating. It gives us so much access to other people’s lives and relationships. Of course, we’re only seeing a small part of the truth (if any) — we fail to see that behind those hashtags lays a relationship with challenges and troubles like any other. We’re chasing an idea of perfection that doesn’t exist.
- We believe the Instagram model is attainable. We believe the man with the six-pack abs holding a kitten or the perfectly sculpted and contoured guy in the beach selfie is a realistic standard of beauty to seek out. We know people like this exist, so why can’t we have one? We care more about what a future looks like than how it’ll actually feel. We’re obsessed with the imagery.
- We believe we’ve got plenty of options. With apps like Tinder leaving thousands of singles at our fingertips, we fail to settle on just one, knowing someone better likely lies ahead. We live under the illusion that we can have anything and everything, so even if we find someone amazing, we refrain from thinking long-term because we feel there’s always going to be someone even better if we just keep looking.
- We’re terrified of the rising divorce rate. Divorce is a real issue now. We all know at least one person whose story terrifies us, so we hold out way longer on settling down to avoid the penetrating fear that we’ll end up in a nasty divorce. We no longer trust our own hearts, and we rarely take as many chances these days.
- We waste more time texting than actually making face to face connections. We’ll spend days and weeks texting a guy before we actually make a plan to see him. It’s because we’re probably texting three other people at the same time, trying to weigh our endless sea of options and the doors keep revolving. We focus on quantity over quality.
- We run from flaws. If someone possessed one single trait we don’t like, we move on to the next. We think we can find someone better, only to discover the next person has a different flaw we simply can’t live with. And this cycle repeats endlessly.
- We have insane checklists. We’ve created an ideal from our exposure to social media portrayals of people and relationships that we’ve accumulated insanely large and specific checklists we insist we can find. We’re not willing to budge on our relationship goals.
- Social media takes the mystery out of the equation. Getting to know a guy isn’t even fun anymore because you can easily find out his life story in under give minutes just by plugging his name into a search bar. Before we get to know all the great things about a person the natural way, we can easily find the red flags within a few clicks.
- We’re judgmental when it comes to communication. We spend a lot of time judging people on their abilities to text us back and we live under invisible rules of who should reach out first and label people clingy when they say too much. We weigh response times as levels of interest and we rarely even bother to pick up the phone to verify the tone of conversation.
- We spend more time online than actually making effort to meet people in the physical world. We’re picky because we spend so much time online analyzing and over-absorbing profiles and social media accounts than we actually spend leaving our apartments. We don’t spend nearly as much time as we should meeting and observing each other in real life, where nothing is filtered, everything is natural, and perfection is merely an illusion we see through a screen.
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