When someone treats you badly or never has time for you, you might worry that they don’t see you as good enough to be your friend or partner, but maybe they’re intimidated by you. The problem with knowing for sure is that intimidation can look a lot like not liking someone. So, you have to pay attention to the signs, such as these 11 behaviors that prove someone is secretly intimidated by you. While you can’t rely on one sign, if the person’s displaying a few, that’s a good indication that they’re scared of you.
1. They Don’t Look You In The Eye.
When someone can’t make eye contact with you, they could be shifty, lack confidence, or be intimidated by you. In the case of the latter, they’ll avoid meeting your gaze because they’re nervous about being around you, or maybe they’re afraid you’ll judge them. That said, they might be staring at you when you’re not looking. Sneaky.
2. They Talk Over You.
To counteract being intimidated, someone might try to show you that you’re the one who’s worthless. It’s an ego thing. So, they might talk over you instead of listening to you or talk to someone else in the room and totally ignore you. They won’t make eye contact either. They’re trying hard to erase you from their surroundings ’cause they can’t handle the anxiety they feel around you.
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4. They Try To Copy You.
While some people who feel intimidated by you will try to avoid you or pretend you’re not there, you might notice they’re displaying signs that they’re actually trying to be like you. Maybe they’re dressing in a similar way to you or they’re using your direct style of communication. Or, perhaps they’re showing interest in your favorite hobbies all of a sudden. Hmmm.
5. They Pause Before Answering You.
You ask the person something and they take forever to answer you. What’s this about? They might be using this a strategy to undermine you – almost like saying you’re not that important (even though they think you are) – or because they’re afraid to speak to you. They might just be good at hiding their fear response.
6. They Give You Backhanded Compliments.
There are many reasons why people can be intimidated by you, such as if they find you beautiful/smart/funny/popular. This can make them jealous, so they could respond by trying to cut you down to size by giving you backhanded compliments. Maybe they want you to feel the uncertainty they feel from being around you. So, they’ll say, “Well done on achieving your goal – I was amazed you could do it.” Or, “You seem so cool on social media.” Ouch.
7. They Love To Boast Around You.
To undermine you, someone who’s intimidated by you could try to boast more around you. So, you might hear them telling someone else in the room that their work is being published in a journal or that they’ve met an amazing boyfriend. They might not tell you directly, but they’ll do it in such a way that you can hear them.
8. They Don’t Ask You Questions.
Someone who’s intimidated by you won’t want to get to know you. They’re too nervous to do so. You might find that they want to get away from you when you try to talk to them, like by finding an excuse to leave the room, or they’ll have surface conversations without wanting to connect on a deeper level. They might be afraid to express themselves for fear that they’ll make a fool of themselves.
9. They Always Agree With You.
You might find that the person in your team at work always agrees with your ideas and suggestions. Or, the person you’re dating says “yes” to everything you want to do on the weekends. They’re trying to fall in line with what you want because they don’t want to disappoint you. While they might have good intentions, this behavior can be super annoying.
10. They’re Nice To Your Face.
If someone sees you as intimidating, they might make you think they adore you when you’re around, but then they’ll gossip about you to other people. This could be a sign that they’re jealous. Or, perhaps how you command respect from others causes them to fear you. So, to deal with this, they’ll gossip about you.
11. They’re Defensive.
Do you notice that when you try to engage with the person, they cross their arms and step further away from you? These are signs that they’re defensive and putting their walls up. They’re not sure how to deal with you, and it causes them to feel freaked out. They could also be showing defensiveness if they’re threatened by your success, so to protect themselves they try to block you out.
12. They’re Fidgety Around You.
Since people who feel intimidated by you will have a fear response, check them for clues that they’re nervous. These include if they’re fidgeting a lot. Maybe they can’t seem to stand still or they keep touching their face during conversation. They might feel nervous because they know you have high standards and they don’t feel like they’re confident enough to meet them.
