My Crush Ignores Me But Stares At Me — What’s Their Deal?

Staring at someone can often be a sign of romantic interest, so when the person who always has their eyes on you ignores you instead of striking up a conversation with you, it can be seriously confusing. There are several reasons why your crush ignores you then stares at you all day long. Check them out below.

They think you’ll reject them. Sometimes ignoring someone can be a self-defense mechanism. Your crush might believe, for whatever reason, that you’ll reject them. Maybe you don’t stare back at them. Maybe you’ve never smiled at them. If they think you’ll reject them, they might not bother pursuing you and will just ignore you when they see you. You could try smiling at them or talking to them first to show that you won’t ignore them.

They’re insecure. A person might not get to the stage of thinking that you’ll reject them, but they can still be insecure overall and thus less likely to pursue you. It’s possible that your crush ignores you because they’re arrogant and don’t like to ever make the first move but still stares at you because they like you. And this usually comes down to being insecure. Arrogance is another defense mechanism that protects people from feeling inferior because they try to put themselves in positions of power over others.

They are involved with someone else. Your crush might stare at you because they are interested in you. But if they are involved with someone else, they’re probably going to ignore you rather than actually talk to you. Even if you go to school or work with them and you’ve never seen a partner, this doesn’t mean they’re single. They could be in a relationship that they rarely talk about.

They don’t want a relationship right now. In most cases, when someone likes you enough, they’ll want to be in a relationship with you regardless of what’s going on in their lives. But there always exceptions. Some people are adamant about not wanting to be in a relationship, no matter whom they’re crushing on. Maybe they’ve got too much going on at work or school. Or maybe they’re going through a hard time with their health or their family. It could be that your crush stares because they like you. But they still don’t want a relationship right now, so they don’t bother talking to you.

They don’t think you’re single. It’s possible that your crush likes you and actually wants to talk to you rather than ignoring you all the time. But if they don’t think you’re single, they might not bother. It’s the same logic as thinking you’re going to reject them. They just don’t see any point in talking to you, even though they’d like to. This can happen when you have close friends that your crush has mistaken for a partner. Or if you’ve posted photos of yourself and others on social media to make them jealous, it could backfire. Photos like that can just leave your crush thinking you’re not available.

One of their friends likes you. If you and your best friend liked the same person, would one of you (or both of you) step aside for the sake of the friendship? While some people compete for dates, others aren’t willing to lose friends over it. So it’s possible that they stare because they like you but can’t act on their feelings because one of their friends feels the same way.

They’re playing hard to get. According to Paired Life, a lot of people pretend to ignore people they actually like. This is part of playing hard to get, a mind game that attracts people to you by making them think you don’t want them. It’s always a possibility that your crush is pretending to ignore you to increase your interest in them. But if this is the case, there will be other obvious signs that they like you, in addition to the staring.

They’re working out how they feel about you. Staring can be a sign of curiosity. It could be that your crush is still working out how they feel about you. When they look at you, they’re studying you like a curious scientist, trying to determine their own interest. They might ignore you because they haven’t figured it out yet, and they don’t want to approach you until they’re sure.

They don’t want to look desperate. Seventeen published an article in which guys who had ignored girls they liked gave reasons for their actions. Interestingly, many of the guys admitted that they’d ignored girls they liked because they didn’t want to look desperate. Even though it’s not a sign of desperation to just talk to someone, it can definitely seem that way. Especially when they could possibly reject you. Maybe your crush wishes they could talk to you but feels like they’ll look desperate if they do.

How to break the ice and change the dynamic

If your crush ignores you but stares at you, something’s gotta give. It’s going to get a bit creepy if you constantly see their eyes on you but they never say a word. If you think they might be shy or afraid of rejection but you like them back, you may need to take matters into your own hands.

Strike up a conversation. Yes, you’re both grown adults who should be able to pluck up the courage to talk to people you like, but shyness is a thing. If you’re the more confident between you, why not take the reins by starting a conversation with them? Mention something you know you have in common or something you know about them. This could encourage them to open up more.

Flirt a little but keep it simple. If your crush stares at you because they’re shy and introverted, they probably won’t respond well to very forward and intense flirting (and it doesn’t seem like you’re in that place yet anyway). You can drop subtle hints that you like them by giving them a little smile or laughing at something they say or even just paying them a little extra attention.

Make a joke out of it. If you feel like your other attempts to move things to a better space aren’t really working — they’re not picking up on the subtle flirtation and don’t seem all that into your conversational attempts — you may need to jokingly bring up the fact that you notice your crush stares at you then ignores you the rest of the time. They’ll either lighten up a bit and laugh back or they might just clam up altogether, but things can’t go on the way they have been, so you’ll have to take your chances.

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